Registering 101

The highlight of many couple's wedding perks: the gifts. Now is the perfect time to ask for that really expensive set of cookware you've always wanted. Just kidding, well not really, a lot of couples do ask for some pretty outlandish stuff that they normally wouldn't. And that's the beauty of it. You can ask for whatever you want. However, you must keep in mind that you may not get it. So, let's begin with some registering etiquette, shall we?

1. Registering should be one of the first things you do. So, first you need to pick out what you need &/want, find a store or website that caters to that, and go registry window shopping. Leave your credit card on your dresser; you're not going to need it!
2. It is usually expected of guests to bring the couple a wedding present if they are invited to the ceremony and the reception. However, if a guest attends your soiree without a gift in tow, don't write them on your poo list, especially if they are not close to you or your family. If a guest is invited to the ceremony only, they are definitely not required to bring a gift.
3. Checks are a fun gift to receive, but are not meant to help you pay for the wedding. They should also be sent a "thank-you" note like everyone else.
   
4. There is no minimum or maximum of the cost of a gift. Let me let you you in on a myth: The cost of the food for the reception per head is how much the gift should cost. This is rubbish! Seriously, it's the thought that counts.
5. You are not, and I mean, NOT allowed to say where you are registered or ask for gifts on your save the dates or your invitations. To do so is to seem like you are expecting a gift in exchange for coming to the wedding. Not only is it rude, it makes you sound greedy. If you want to make your registry known, tell your parents and attendants where you are registered. This is so if they are asked by a guest, they will be able to pass on the information.
   
6. A little amendment to that rule, though. You are allowed to include your wedding website link on your save the dates and invites. The wedding website usually includes amenities for your guests such as links to restaurants, hotels, details of wedding events, maps to your ceremony and reception sites, etc. Your registry information can also be included on the page. It's not a faux-pas to include this now service on your site, which can be placed on your invites. Instead of looking you're blatantly asking for gifts, this will make the registry information look more like a service to your guests.
7. Always keep a record of your gift information: such as the giver, the gift, and the giver's address. Once gift giving becomes prominent, you should sit down as often as possible and write your guests thank you notes. This makes them feel appreciated and you don't get backed up with thank you's in the future. This also makes the whole thanks process a lot less boring if you are just writing 1-3 thank yous a day.
8. Thank yous should be sent ASAP after a gift is received. That whole one-year to write a thank you note rule is also rubbish. Just think of all that goes on in a year. Who wants a thank you note that late?
9. If you (God forbid) call off your wedding or you file for divorce or annulment immediately after the wedding, you are required to give the gifts back. You don't get any presents if there is no couple to give it to.

Some Registering Suggestions

1. If you are just a starting out couple, tradition is to register for household items. Ask for cookware, glasses, silverware, furniture, bath and bedding accessories, anything you know you're going to need for your new home together. Just make sure your fiance has a say in what you are registering for, because no self-respecting man wants a pink comforter in his bedroom. Then again, I may be wrong: I don't judge.
2. You don't have to have traditional gifts for your wedding. If you have enough cookware going into the wedding, you can ask for entertainment items. DVDs, CDs, books are always good gifts, especially if you feel guilty asking for expensive gifts.
3. Have everything you need? How about a honeymoon registry? There are now web sites that are able to allow your guests to go online and pick amenities that you choose for your registry and the registry will then send you a check the week of your wedding and the week after. For example, say you place a night at your honeymoon hotel on your registry. Your guest will see it on your registry, and (hopefully) purchase it for an extra minute cost. There you have it, a honeymoon registry.
4. If you are completely and utterly selfless, or just don't feel like receiving any gifts, but your guests are asking you where you are registered, because they want to give you something to commemorate your union, then ask them to donate to your favorite charity on your behalf. It's a wonderful way to help the world.

Here are a few websites you can look into for registries:

• www.bedbathandbeyond.com
• www.thehoneymoon.com
• www.macys.com
• www.walmart.com
• www.target.com
• www.belk.com

Happy shopping!