What I Am Thankful For...

It's been a nutso year, guys. A lot of stuff has changed: not being engaged anymore, my Papa is with Nana, I have one more semester of classes left (when did that happen?), and I have just become a completely different person in general. It seems that, a lot of the time, I complain about what I don't have and if I "just had this one thing my life would be better." But today, I am going to look back at the previous year and list the things I am thankful for. This may take a while ladies and gents, so if you are not in it for the long-haul...bugger off (and I mean this in the nicest way possible).

• My family. We have been through some really crazy stuff, but through it all, we're still together and we still love each other. My parents have been so supportive of my life decisions, even if they don't exactly agree with them, and they are letting me learn the hard way. But, honestly, that's the only way I can learn. My dad has had so many surgeries this year, and I am just so thankful that he has come out of them just fine. He is on the road to recovery and out of his cast. :) Hopefully this is THE LAST of the surgeries. My mom has had a really hard time with losing Papa and work this year. But she has held in there tight and she is going to make it out. I am so thankful for her giving me a job in her office, even if I didn't exactly like the office lifestyle. I am thankful for her and dad helping me pay for my Europe trip. It's a lifelong dream finally realized! I love you both so much! My baby sister, Melanie, who is so much stronger than I will ever be. She is like my big sister at times, helps me get through the rough patches, and still loves me even when I mess up EPICALLY! Little One, you know I love you and I wouldn't trade our bond for anything on this planet. Uncle Mike, you have done so much for me this past year and I know it's been a hard one. But I am so thankful for you being around as my second dad, loving me even when I do stupid stuff (I feel like this is becoming a theme...haha!), and being there with Ma. To all my family, mentioned and not, I love you all and am thankful for having you in my life.




• My home. This time last year I was freaking out because I honestly thought I was going to be homeless. But I have a beautiful home and it's just fantastic. Couldn't ask for a better place to live.



• My job(s). I recognize how bad the economy is and even if I am working at crazy hours on a Saturday night or hanging out on my feet for an hour, passing hors d'oeuvres to (groping) older men, I am thankful for that. I am able to live comfortably, that is something awesome right now.


• My faith. I have never been much of a religious person. But this year, between my anxiety attack rehab and Papa, I have been tested. But, this is going to sound so cheesey, my faith has gotten me through this. God is helping my family and me out. I know that things are going to get better. I just have a feeling, if you know what I mean.
  
  
• Andrew. My best friend on the entire planet. I have put you through so much. At the end of the day, I don't tell you this enough, I thank God that you're in my life. You could have bailed out and pretty much kicked me to the curb, which I honestly deserved. But you have continued to be my friend after all the crap I pulled. You may not think you're strong, but you really are. Your compassion and understanding for what I have been going through has been near Sainthood. I'm sure a lot of our friends would agree. Just want you to know, you're pretty much always going to be Number One in my friend book and I will always love you.



• My friends. You guys know who you are. You called me out, you made me feel awful about the mistakes I made, and you hugged me when I cried. There has been a time when I couldn't live with myself and the mistakes I made, so I had to push myself away from you. And let's face it, I was being a bi-otch. But that didn't stop me from loving you guys. You all had the chutzbah to tell me that I was in the wrong, and I recognize that now. I am just glad that I still have your friendship. I love you. (Another theme)



• Maddie. This cat has gotten me through some hard stuff. And yes, she spars with me for my pillow, farts emphatically when I pick her up, and drives me bonkers, but my God, I love this cat. She is my soulmate and makes me feel so happy.

A Note

Dear Guys,
There was a time when you all had to make the first move. A time when girls didn't have to throw up every signal in existence to get a date. A time when you got the chutzbah to say "Hey, I like you, let's go out sometime" or even "I want to be with you." Somewhere after the '90's I guess, because I just remember all these movies talking about how "it's the 90's, girls can ask guys out," guys pretty much stopped asking girls out on dates or telling them how they felt in general. Somehow, it was encoded into my psyche that if I liked a boy, I was the pursuer, because the boy, even if he liked me, would never make the first move. At the same time, I am a shy girl. I don't do too well with revealing the true me without proper encouragement. With me, even though I am the one to always pursue, I am also the one to clam up upon actually getting a date. Alot of the time I wonder if they are there because I was the only one to ask them out or if they really do fancy me. And you guys just clam up. I don't need a whole shpeel on your ardent feelings for me, but please, if any girl asks if you care about her, or asks what you want, please tell her. As for me, if you don't know what you want from life, please don't become involved with me. I allowed myself to fall so hard for this one person who had no idea what he wanted, even though I made it clear to him he was what I wanted and I had a feeling I could make him happy. But he said he didn't know, and he lost me. Before the question was asked, I was able to be myself around him, and then after, it was the most horrible awkwardness on my part because I didn't know how to act with him. I was afraid to touch him, to play with him, to enjoy myself with him as the real me, because I was afraid of becoming too attached to someone who didn't and probably wouldn't love me back. It broke my heart. So, the moral of the story is, please, before you get involved with anyone, boys (and girls for that matter), atleast have an idea of what you want. And if you don't want that person, don't lead them on. It will break them worse than anything. Second, guys, if you fancy a girl, ask her out on a date. So what if she says "no?" You tried and that's all that matters. If you guys are already acquainted, then the more reason she has to say "yes." As for me, I am tired of pursuing. I think I am at a point in my life where I think I am worth fighting for, working to win over, or even just driving about an hour or so to visit. I am a hopeless romantic, I suppose, who upon leaving a lover behind they follow me just to give me an extra kiss goodbye. Whatever. I am exhausted from this heartbreak of mine. If you like, care about, or love me, come and get me. I am waiting. And I am sure many girls would sympathize with me.

Honesty

I was on the phone with a friend of mine tonight, and though he is the most frustrating and vindictive human being I've ever met, often times what he says is honest and I can do nothing but listen. Because many a times, the honesty just strikes down anything else I was going to say. Maybe it is the delivery, but I think about it. Tonight we were discussing celebrities. We got into an argument about which ones appeal to us and he said "Nicole Kidman." I don't find Nicole Kidman remotely attractive, though I do find her beautiful and talented. She was fantastic in Moulin Rouge and a few semesters ago in makeup class, I tried to emulate her perfect face for a celebrity look-alike project. Needless to say, it looked really bad, because you can't put Nicole Kidman's face on a bone structure that rivals a kewpie doll(just kidding). But there is something about her. I saw it a lot when I studied how she moved, how she acted in public. She isn't personable. She is cold, and beyond what I see on television there is not much to go off of. So that is where the argument began. My friend asked me how I could judge her based off what I saw on television and in movies. He said that no one really shows their true selves, not even he did. Not even me. And it hurt, because I thought that the friend I knew was always the way he was. But it was one of those things where we understood each other. And it made sense. So many of our relationships are based off lies of what we want other people to see. He wants the world to see someone who doesn't care, so he acts that way. Maybe that is the person he truly believes himself to be...I guess I'll never know the real him. But that doesn't really matter, because he had touched a good point with me. He was right. I am a people pleaser by nature. Being the first child, I was bent on bringing home straight A's, getting the best parts in plays, being the winner, because making my parents and friends proud of me made me feel good. I am a nice girl; I don't like to hurt anyone's feelings, so I often lie about how I really feel, what i really want to make everyone else happy. For the longest time, I talked myself into a lie to make someone I really cared about happy because for that time it made me feel the same way to see him feel so great. We're just a bunch of liars, it's all an act. With the exception of my family, I just feel like I can't really trust or depend on anyone for the truth. Because in all honesty we are just a censored version of our true selves, and I'm guilty of that, too.
So, I am going to give something a try. I am going to shed my tough skin a little bit. It's become a habit hiding behind the nice girl, the people pleaser. I am going to step out of my comfort zone by being more honest with everyone. This could be fun.

I Am Going to Europe!!!!

Hello everyone! It has been a busy past two weeks, so I am catching up on my blog while I have a chance. I have decided, rather quickly, to take a trip to Europe over Spring Break. It is an 8-day excursion, which I think will be fantastic and I plan on having a great time. I would say more about it, but just see for yourself! It's going to be a wonderful experience. My friend Morgan is the only one definitely coming so far. I am hoping to get a few more to come along with me. If you want to come, let me know by September 29, that is the day I am signing up. Morgan expressed how she wanted us to book together, so if you want to, let me know.

Day 1 Flight
Overnight flight to europe
Day 2 london
Arrival in london • Welcome to London!

After clearing customs, you’ll meet your full-time EFCB Tour Guide and the
rest of your group. Did you know that more than 200 languages
are spoken in London?
Walking tour of london • Get to know London on an
informal stroll with your tour guide. Walk along the banks of
the River Thames, and then head to Trafalgar Square, once
famous for its huge pigeon population. Continue to bustling
Leicester Square and on to chic Covent Garden.
Welcome drink • Get to know the other travelers in your
group over included drinks. Afterwards, head out on the
town, or go back to the hotel to catch up on some sleep.

Day 3 london
Hop-on, Hop-off double-decker bus tour • See
London at your own pace on a classic double-decker bus
ride all over town. For 24 hours you can get off and back on
whenever you want. Tour routes take you to all the big sights,
including the awe-inspiring St. Paul’s Cathedral and Tower of
London. You’ll also cruise by Piccadilly Circus, Whitehall and
Trafalgar Square, as live commentary tells you all there is to
know about this storied city.
Free time london (day) •

Top 5 suggestions:
1. Covent Garden • Seek out bargains at this bustling covered
market; souvenirs, clothes, crafts and much more.
2. Tower of London • Trace England’s bloody history in this
famous fortress and see the legendary Crown Jewels.
3. Abbey Road • Probably the world’s most famous crosswalk,
this spot is a must-see for any Beatles fan.
4. Madame Tussaud’s Wax Museum • Be amazed as you
wander this huge gallery filled with frighteningly real wax
dummies of your favorite celebrities and historical figures.
5. Tate Modern • Visit one of the world’s premier modern
art museums.

Day 4 london
Optional excursion to Stonehenge and Bath
(extra cost) • Opt to head out into the English countryside,
and see the myst is still unknown, but most believe it was a temple and astronomical
observatory. Then move on to Bath, an ancient spa
town popular with early Romans and 18th-century English
aristocracy. See the ruins and check out the bath houses.
Free time london (night) • Top 5 suggestions:
1. West End Theatre district • Catch a play in London’s
version of Broadway.
2. Soho • This lively part of town is famous for its nightlife,
with pubs, clubs, live music—you name it.
3. Comedy Store • Laugh till you can’t anymore at this
beloved venue, the heart and soul of the UK comedy scene.
4. Fabric • This huge underground dance club has three
dance floors, plus some mellower spaces.
5. Astoria • This acclaimed concert venue has seen the
likes of Radiohead, Nirvana and Kylie Minogue.
(For more ideas and details, see our London city guide at
efcollegebreak.com.)
Day 5 paris
Eurostar train to Paris • The high-speed train whisks
you under the English Channel to Paris. Did you know that
the “Chunnel” was first suggested by a French engineer in
1802? He imagined travelers going by horse and carriage
with lanterns lighting the way.
Free time paris (day) • Top 5 suggestions:
1. Musée d’Orsay • This amazing museum built into an old
train station is a runaway favorite of many art lovers. Enjoy
masterpieces by Monet, Van Gogh, and many more.
2. Champs-Elysées • The famous boulevard has witnessed
several major historical moments, but it’s best-known for its
high fashion shopping and unbeatable people-watching.
3. Arc de Triomphe • Built to commemorate Napoleon’s
Grande Armée, this famous arch has amazing views.
4. Père Lachaise Cemetery • Pay your respects to many
famous figures, including Marcel Proust and the legendary
Doors front man Jim Morrison.
5. Montmartre • Climb the stairs or take the funicular
railway up to this charming artists’ haven. Take in amazing
panoramic views and go inside the Sacré Coeur church.
Evening Seine cruise and Eiffel Tower • Float down
the river while the City of Light glimmers all around you. Then
ascend to the top of the most famous tower in the world, and
take in the dazzling views of the illuminated city below.
Day 6 paris
Sightseeing tour of Paris (local guide) • A professional
local guide will lead you on a panoramic bus tour and
teach you about the city. Witness Parisian life in action as
you drive down the always fashionable Champs-Elysées. See
the imposing Arc de Triomphe and the Conciergerie, where
prisoners of the Revolution passed their final days.
Eiffel Tower photostop • Your guided tour includes a
stop at the Eiffel Tower, where you’ll have a chance to take
those must-have shots of the famous steel structure. The
Eiffel Tower was built in 1889 for the World’s Fair and was
supposed to be disassembled after the event. It was only after
authorities realized its usefulness for radio communication
that it was spared the wrecking ball.
Optional excursion to versailles (extra cost) •
Opt to spend the afternoon at the opulent palace of Louis
XIV. This is where French royalty reveled in its extravagant
lifestyle while the masses starved, leading to the Revolution.
Stroll through the well-manicured gardens along the river and
check yourself out in the Hall of Mirrors.
Day 7 paris
Louvre MuseuM • The world’s most famous museum is
a sprawling complex that was once a royal palace. One could
wander for days among its masterpieces. Today, you’ll hit all
the highlights, including the Venus de Milo and Leonardo Da
Vinci’s incomparably mysterious Mona Lisa.
Walking tour of Paris • Your tour guide takes you on
an informal stroll around town. Walk through the Latin Quarter,
an area packed with college students from the Sorbonne,
Paris’s most famous university. Make your way along the
Seine, and check out les bouquinistes, the little stalls that
sell old books, maps, art prints and postcards. It’s the perfect
place to pick up some authentic souvenirs.
Notre Dame Cathedral • Go inside the famous medieval
cathedral, built between 1163 and 1361. Admire the
stained-glass windows and seemingly weightless vaulted
ceilings. The amazing cathedral was the inspiration for Victor
Hugo’s famous book The Hunchback of Notre Dame.

Farewell dinner • Share some last laughs (and maybe
shed a few tears) at a farewell dinner with the group.
Day 8 paris
Flight home

List of Things I Am Going to Do Before I Die

Time to re-evaluate my life. Time to set some goals for myself and put things back in perspective. I lost sight of what I really wanted from life and it's taken me a while to get back to the person I was. But I am back and I am taking advantage of the clarity I have attained. My list of things I want to do before I die:

• Get my Master's in Music Performance at Belmont University
• Audition for Opera Carolina next Spring
• Get my pilot's license
• Go on a cruise
• Go to Italy, France (the country, not so big on the city scene), the UK, including Scotland & Ireland( i have to see my family's castle)
• Finish a damn novel. Don't know how many I have started and finished.
• Become a voice teacher.
• Gradually tackle the Appalachian Trail, state by state.
• Go to Australia, just because it looks like fun
• Audition for the Metropolitan Opera National Council Award
• Study Bel Canto in London for a "semester"
• Visit the Paris Opera House

This is a short list. there is more I want to do but for right now, this is a good list.

Calling Off a Wedding

To be honest, I don't know how this will go. I will also state that I do have my reasons and if I have not made them known to you, you don't need to know the details. So, please do not ask me what happened. All you need to know is that Andrew and I are not getting married. We are staying together, but we are no longer engaged. So, I thought it would only be customary to finish off the bridal section of my blog by detailing the many reasons for calling off an engagement and the proper etiquette to go about it.
As we know, the divorce rate in our country is 50%. This rate is increased for couples who live together before marriage. This also increases the younger you are when you get married. So, for whatever reason you decide to call off your engagement, you are more than likely doing the right thing. Marriage is not something to be entered into lightly. It is not a promise to be made and broken, which is what society has made it. It is a promise to love someone with all your heart for all eternity. If for any reason you have intense doubts about getting married, and this is basically anything beyond cold feet or wedding jitters, call it off. I'm serious! Yes, it will hurt your family, your fiance, your friends may hate you, your fiances friends will more than likely hate you, and it will hurt you too. If it doesn't hurt when you break it off, you have no soul. But, think about it. Those doubts will come back to haunt you and the more you repress them, the more they will build up until all you have is an unsalvageable marriage. I know it's unromantic to call off a wedding when really you should be the perfect bride or groom and have stars in your eyes through it all, but really...do not get married if you have doubts. It will save you tons of heartache and lawyers and alimony in the end.
So, etiquette. This is the hardest part, girls. But if you follow these easy steps you will do just fine.
1. Take the ring off your finger.
2.Return it to the rightful owner. If he bought it, give it back to him. If you bought something for him, ask him nicely to give it back. If it is from your family, give it back to the family.
3. By doing this you will save yourself many a brawl and court battle. It has happened.
Give yourself and your fiance time to talk about the situation. Talk about where you will be going from there. If you will still be dating, tell them so. If you are breaking up, tell them so. Don't leave anything up to interpretation. If you do, that could lead to even more heartbreak in the longrun.
Call your parents and break the news. Then you may call your bridesmaids and groomsmen.
If you have received gifts, send them back. You are not getting married anymore and you don't deserve them. Sorry about being brash.
If you have put out any news announcements, have the newspaper put out a cancellation announcement.
If you have sent out invitations, call your guests and notify them of the cancellation.
If you are severing ties with your fiance, do it in a civil manner. Don't finger point and fight. They are hurting as much as you, if not, more. Be nice, break things off clean. Take the fond memories you have.
It may be for the best that you attend counseling after the cancellation. You may think you don't need it, but having someone unbiased to talk to about your fears, your hopes, and your moving on. Just remember to take it a day at a time. It does get easier.

Julia Child, Eat Your Heart Out

Earlier this week, my Dah had a foot surgery, hopefully the last one so I went home to hang out with him and make my parents dinner. Like most major decisions, we had a run around about what i was going to make them for dinner. After an hour of deliberation, I chose to make my parents a quiche reminiscent of the one we enjoyed at the Old Mill Pottery Cafe. I found the recipe online at cooks.com, but I have to say that I the cook time was not quite right. But if you are looking for an easy to make, exquisitely delicious meal, I highly recommend this bacon cheese and onion quiche.
Ingredients(Makes 6 servings)

• 6 Slices of Crisply Cooked Bacon


• 3 eggs


• 1 cup half and half


• 1/2 cup milk


• 1 1/2 cups of cheddar cheese


• 1 Tbsp. flour


• 1 small onion, chopped


• 1 9-inch pie crust, room temperature


• Salt and pepper to taste

Preheat the oven to 450 degrees.

1. Mix together the cheese and flour with your hands in a small bowl and set aside.


2. Mix together the eggs, half and half, milk, and salt in pepper in another bowl. Set aside.


3. Begin cooking the bacon in a frying pan on medium heat until the bacon is crispy. Lay out on paper towel to dry.


4. Drain some but not all of the bacon grease and sautee the chopped onions in the bacon grease.


5. While the bacon is cooking, spray the quiche dish with non-stick spray and place the pie crust in it. Using your index and middle finger as well as your ring finger, begin to pinch the crust on the edges to create a nice edge.


6. Pour the cheese mixture onto the pie crust. Sprinkle the crumpled bacon on top. Shake out the sauteed onions on top of the bacon.


7. Pour the egg mixture into the pie crust so that it evenly spreads through the cheese, bacon, and onions.


8. Bake the quiche for 15 minutes at 450 degrees. Then, reduce the heat to 350 degrees and cook for an additional 20 minutes.


9. Test the quiche for doneness by inserting a toothpick in the center. If it comes out clean, it is done. Bake for an additional 5 minutes if it is not done.


10. Cut up the quiche and serve.

Side recommendations: A light salad and grapes. Soooo good. If you are feeling daring, try out the quiche with a fruity wine like Sangria. It really complements the cheesiness of the quiche.

Kitchen Reno Update, Bench Repair, and Maddie's First Night

This morning I woke up and thought my cat had died. After Andrew decided to turn on all the lights in the condo and then in our bedroom, I woke up on my day off to look for Maddie. Since we brought her home last night, she had taken to hiding behind the couch, under the bed, table...you name it, she was hiding there. So I ended up finding her behind the couch and she was just staring up at me. She wasn't blinking and I freaked out, thinking she had somehow died behind the couch. So I moved it and she retreated back under our bed until I was able to coax her out with food and give her her medicine. She hated me all morning.

So, I got dressed and went out to get the materials to repair my mom's broken bench. It cost me about $30 to fix the thing, but it turned out beautifully.

I used 3/4" plywood, a hot glue gun, some batting for quilting and a nice fabric that I got on sale for $3.50. Want to know what ticks me off, though? I had to pay for the whole freaking piece of plywood, including the parts I didn't use. And dumbie that I am let them keep the rest of it. Bah!!! But anyways, it only took me a whole of 15 minutes to fix it so it was worth it in the end, I suppose. I now have a place to blog and do homework. :)

I was able to make some headway in my Julia Child kitchen reno this week. I painted the cabinets the color I wanted and I think they turned out quite well. I am going to wait a little while before I move on to the flooring. Mainly because I have to buy another stupid book for my Geology lab. $66.00! Darn the text book companies to hell! They are doing Satan's work, for serious. Why charge that much? Because they know they can and that's just evil. Done with that tyrade. Here is the updated kitchen.

Andrew's and My First Child

No, Ma, I am NOT pregnant! Andrew and I are adopting our first baby...kitten. Her name is Maddie. She is practically perfect in every way and will add quite a bit of cat hair to my outfits. We met her on Sunday after discovering her on petfinder.com. She is about 14 weeks old and is so freaking affectionate my other cat, Beau (not named after my best friend, just so we get that straight) pales in comparison. You hear that, Beau Kitty? Stop being so pissy! I still love you.

Back to Maddie. We are getting her tonight and Andrew, I do believe, is more excited than me about her arrival. While I was at work on Monday he went out shopping for Maddie and brought back a few toys and after getting me to close my eyes, surprised me with something cold and small in the palm of my hand. It was a silver tag with Maddie's name on it. I never knew I could get so choked up over a stupid piece of metal before Monday. It was cute and I bought a pink collar to go with it...don't judge me. So, here are a few pictures of our new baby. I will try so hard not to make her the central figure in my blogs, but my God she is sooo freaking cute!

Julia Child-ing My Kitchen

I first want to begin by acknowledging the fact that I do believe that I am an old woman living in a 21-year old's body. That being said, I should also say that enjoy my good times as well, so I am "not dead yet." If you have seen Julie and Julia, you know exactly how freaking awesome Julia Child's kitchen looks. Maybe some of you even had the chance to see some Julia Child episodes where she filmed in her kitchen. For the rest of you, here's a snapshot.

Gorgeous, right? My kitchen will probably never look like this, however, it will look pretty darn good. There are several phases of my kitchen makeover. Phase One, repainting the cabinets to the sage and light blue has been completed. I put a twist on the paint job, though. I painted all the bottom cabinets and backs sage while I just painted the upper cabinets with a blue. I will post pictures later.

Phase Two will consist of adding a new floor, since our old floor has been torn by the previous owner and we need to replace it anyway.

Phase Three will probably be my favorite part of the reno. I will put in a pantry and a pegboard wall to hang up my pots and pans...with the characteristic Julia outlines so that I won't forget where everything goes...neurotic I know...

Phase Four I will put in the final touches like the magnetic knife rack and spice racks.

The key to renovating the kitchen is to make it more efficient, something that my kitchen is currently lacking in. It is frustrating not knowing where anything is. If you guys have any tips on kitchen organization, please send them my way. And one more thing...Bon Appetit!

The Miracle of Family

Yesterday, my family and I attended my Papa's funeral. Tuesday, as you probably know, was one of the worst days ever. My mom asked me Wednesday night to sing at his funeral and I was able to figure out the perfect song to perform. If you have ever heard "I'll Be Seeing You," you know how beautiful of a song it is. It emboddied my Papa and Nana's love for one another and now that they are finally in Heaven together, I know Papa is happier than ever. So I set to rehearsing the song.

I seriously thought that I was going to be able to get through the song yesterday. After beautiful things said from my cousin John, and my uncles Hoyt and Randy, my mom went up and talked about Papa. I asked Mel and Mom to stay up there with me as I sang. The song started out fine.

There is a zone that every experienced performer is able to go into. They are focused, able to keep their eye on the goal through this focusing technique. The key is to keep your eyes focused on one thing. My focal point was the clock at the back of the sanctuary. The song began and I thought for a split second that I was actually going to get through it.

Then I made a huge mistake. My eyes-and thoughts-shifted and then came the tears. I couldn't stop and I choked. But Mom was there to help me sing the song. And then someone in the congregation began to hum and then a few more voices began to sing. The sound grew louder and it got me through to the end, when I was able to make a comeback and finish the song. It was beautiful. And I was just so grateful, because my family is so different from any other family. The way we have grown together is something other people marvel at. And I know that matter what happens, my family will always be there for me to help me when I am choking up and can't go any further. I love my family.

Healing Day

Hello all. It has been an extremely long day. Yesterday, my worst nightmare happened: my Papa(grandpa) died. How or when I do not know. All I know is that he is gone, and I was the last grandkid to talk to him before he went. It wasn't a remarkable conversation. We talked about Gatlinburg, Julie and Julia, and Doctor Who. I told him I loved him. I'm glad I got to do that. Mom tricked me into coming back home by saying that I had left something at the office. Her voice sounded even and fine, so I came back, curious about what I could have forgotten. No matter how much I wracked my brain, I just couldn't think...until I saw Mom's office door open and all her coworkers standing around her.
There is a moment of recognition, the putting of two and two together when you know you are about to get bad news. It was when I saw my mom's face. She was trying so hard to figure out how to tell me. I didn't want her to. I already knew and at the same time I didn't want it to be true. I didn't cry; I couldn't. I couldn't believe what she was telling me. I simply hugged her and my eyes were so wide with disbelief, I probably didn't blink for several minutes. I let her cry and take me back to her office, where Mel and Ray were. Mel was crying. I held her, but I still couldn't cry. Dad came to the office, saw Mom and Mel crying and he began to cry. I hugged him, but I still couldn't cry.
I just couldn't believe that the thing that kept me up at night so often had finally happened. It wasn't until I got to my car and called Andrew that I began to sob. It was painful and I felt like I was going to die myself. And so it goes. I don't know how much I have cried; a lot less than mom and mel. I feel like I can't cry in front of them because I can't bear to see them in pain. I uploaded pictures today from our Gatlinburg trip just a few minutes ago, and I can't help but wonder if my family will ever be this happy again. I don't know if we will. All of our holidays will be sadder, whenever a kid is screaming in a restaurant he won't be there to applaud the parents when they finally take the brat out, and I won't be expecting that Saturday morning phone call from him to see how my week went.
It hurts. I miss him. And it's going to be a long time until I get to see him again. But I am grateful for two things: that he is in Heaven with Nana and that i got to spend the time with him that I did. I haven't told too many people, because I don't want the empty I'm sorries. But I feel like I need to write about it and send it out there in the world.
My Papa was a fantastic man, and I love him so much. I wish he could have been there for Mel's and my graduation, for my wedding day, for the births of my kids. It's like Mom said "I thought he would live forever." I did too. I thought there was so much more time left with him. And now he's gone and I won't see him again in this life. But I have the faith that I will see him again.
I have been doing better since the news came yesterday. I am eating, going about my day, laughing and trying not to dwell on it. When I do feel sad, I cry. I talk to him and Nana...and Julia Child. I think they are having a great meal and chat with her as we speak.
Today it rained when the sun was shining brightly, something that hasn't happened in quite a long time, and I remembered what Papa used to tell me: The devil is beating his wife. But I think that Papa was just letting me know that he's still here and he is now with the woman he loves. Papa, if you are listening, if they have blogs in Heaven: I love you.

Cooking Together

Having spent a week apart due to my last family vacation to Gatlinburg, Andrew and I practically spent the entire weekend together. Yesterday, at Andrew's insistence, we snuck a few cheeseburgers into Julie and Julia after church and had the most wonderful date in quite a while. The movie was fantatsic, by the way, and everyone should go see it. Julie Powell reminded me so much of myself in that she starts all these crazy projects and never finishes them. And she is with this wonderful, nice guy. :) And, as soon as she began writing her blog, I realized how much I have been denying my own blog. I just didn't realize how much...over a month?! Geez where did the time go? So, taking a page from Ms. Powell's book(which I am now reading, by the way), we decided to cook together on Andrew's two nights off and I am now blogging about it.

Dinner last night was magnificent and simple. If you ever get a chance to go to Gatlinburg, go down to All Sauced Up and the Old Mill Pottery Kitchen. There, you will find culinary masterpieces in a bag, and all you have to do is add liquid. Don't have to tell anyone your secret. We began our meal with pita bread dipped in spices with olive oil. Sooooo good....Then we made spaghetti and Andrew did that great thing where he throws the noodle against the wall to make sure it's done...I wonder if it's still up there...And we topped it off with this wonderful Mountain Valley Red Wine from this great winery my family found in Pigeon Forge. Besides feeding each other pita bread after, it was fun cooking together. And cooking is a great, sensual activity if you are looking for a date night in. In fact, once I am finally comfy with Andrew taking the lead every now and then in the kitchen, we will probably be cooking together every Sunday and Monday night. Below are the links to the fantastic culinary stores!

http://www.allsaucedup.com/

http://www.old-mill.com/

www.mountainvalleywinery.com

Keeping the Spark in Your Relationship

Good night, all! This is your favorite professional insomniac burning the night oil to bring you all a quality blog. Lately, I have been focusing on wedding planning topics, but narily have I zeroed in on the marriage itself. Any body from Dick and Jane to Brangelina will tell you it is hard to keep up a relationship. We are creatures that were born to, let's face it, spread our seed and move on to help our species grow. Then, on another level, we are also creatures who many a time choose to commit to be with one person for the rest of our lives. In the past, the average life expectancy was pretty low, given that modern medicine was yet to really take off. Now, the average person is capable of living into their late 70's. That's a long time to be living with, loving, being intimate with one person. When the institution of marriage was thought up, it was a great idea, because you didn't have to stay with that person too long before the plague shot you down. Now, our divorce rates are higher than ever because A. We get bored easily being with one person for the rest of our lives, B. There are so many other great potential mates running around, C. Many are too lazy to actually commit to a real relationship and D. Not many people take marriage seriously anymore AKA I will love you for now until someone better comes along or we end this thing violently. It's a dark, cruel world we newly-weds are entering into. Instead of wondering if the marriage will last, family & friends now make bets on how long the marriage will last before you call it quits. It's depressing, really. Here are a few stats to really grasp the big picture of what marriage means to us.

The average life span of a live-in relationship is three years.
55% of wives and 70% of husbands who admitted being unfaithful reported that their spouses did not know of the affair.
50% of all first marriages, 70% of second marriages, 90% of subsequent marriages will end up in divorce.
Even in happy marriages, more than 80% of the time, it is the wife who raises marital issues while the husband tries to avoid discussing them.
Only 10% of people who leave marriages end up marrying the person with whom they had an affair.
In an argument when your heart rate goes over 100 beats a minute, you are incapable of hearing what your partner is trying to tell you.

So, if you're still here then you are obviously concerned about to well-being of your relationship and are willing to commit to your special someone and your relationship. I am not going to lie, I am the kind of person who gets bored fast in a relationship. When I get bored, things go bad quickly. But Andrew seems worth my time (I guess I like him, I don't know...) so I have looked up some tips on how to keep the love and companionship alive in our relationship as well as added a few tips of my own from experiences. Feel free to add some tips of your own! The committed people of the world are so few and far between, we need all the help we can get.

• Keep in touch. This goes physically as well as socially. Cuddle as you fall asleep, give them a pat on the back, a kiss on the cheek, a graze of the hand to let them know that they are special to you. We are tactile creatures and it has been proven that if we go without human contact we die prematurely. Talk to each other when you have the chance, and not just about your job. Still talk about your dreams, your goals together, how happy you are to be with them. Doing so will bring a freshness to your relationship each time, because it will remind you of being on your first date again. And most of all, say "I love you" and mean it!
• Be spontaneous! Easier said than done, this tip, if used right, will rejuvinate all aspects of your relationship. The main part of this is if your partner wants to try something new and it's not going to kill you, don't say "no" to it. "No" is death! "No" will kill a relationship faster than you can say it. When you use that word, you are not just closing the door to one opportunity but to many down the road. When you or your partner says "no" over and over it is giving out a signal that you are indeed boring, love being boring, and never want to do anything interesting ever again. So start saying "yes" to new things more often, and you will enjoy the newness together.
• Don't sweat the small stuff. Some wakko made it a good thing to fight in a relationship, simply by saying that make-up sex is the best sex. I don't know about that, but fighting in a relationship in general is not healthy. Now, I'm in favor of a heated discussion every now and then when it is important, but if you freak out over every little thing that doesn't go right or you don't like, your relationship will deteriorate. So, instead of yelling, take a breath, and tell your person how you feel and why.
• Communicate. Wanna here something hilarious? For generations women have harped about how men just don't listen. In one ear and out the other...But a new study shows that women actually listen less than men. Fantastic! Simply exquisite busting of a myth! Communication is the easiest and hardest thing to do in a relationship. We yearn to communicate our feelings and thoughts, so the giving part is usually not to hard to do. But the listening part is what we really stink at. So try listening more everyday and the relationship should grow.
• It's okay to crush on someone as long as you tell your partner. You're not dead just because you are committed. That hot guy/girl isn't going to get any less hotter because you said "I do." You are able to flirt even if you are living with someone. Why our culture has this crazy double-edged sword about feeling guilty about liking someone, but then accepting extra-marital affairs is beyond me. Crushing on new people is healthy. Repressing it is not, along with pursuing it. By keeping your communication lines open with your partner, you can tell them all sorts of things, including you having feelings for someone. Getting your feelings for someone else out in the air also makes it more real to you and your partner, thus giving you a reality check. Talking about your interests in someone will ultimately prevent you from cheating because now that your partner knows, you have this buddy system to prevent you from doing so.

Have any ideas? Submit them in the comments bar! Until next time!

<3

Talking to My Past

Okah, so, haven't been on as much I have intended to be and here's why:

1. I am working 3 jobs this summer! Yes, three! And only two are simply fantastic and the other just sucks out my soul everytime I kiss Andrew goodbye to come to it.

2. I have nothing to talk about wedding wise. And I kind of lost the wedding etiquette book I was working from, so meh...BUT I FOUND IT, after the library called me for the umpteenth time. Reminds me of the "Better Off Dead" paper boy..."Two dollars!" Okay...maybe not.

3. My life has been pretty boring.

4. I am soooo in love with Doctor Who. I want to officially apologize to Andrew for making fun of him for liking the show, because now I am so addicted, I find myself wearing my chucks more often, chattering(mostly in a singular sense) my teeth together when I make a point, saying bollocks, and feeling really bad about my life because I cannot, in fact, meet the Face of Boh or hear the Tardis apporaching.

5. I spend so much time on the computer at my mom's office that when I do get some me time, I hate the internet!

So, I have been following this kid's vlog on YouTube, and he made a fantastic video about 10 things I would tell myself 10 years ago if I were able to go back in time. So...here they are in letter form.

Dear 11-year-old Morgan,

First off, I know you're a little worried about the whole 2000 thing and the world ending, and whatnot, but save your stomach ulsars for later, but you will live past 2000, 2001, and the other doosmday days, and stop watching the History Channel-TODAY! I'm not going to tell you why, but History Channel will ruin your life, promise you.

Now, I want you to know, boys are stupid and you should start throwing rocks at them NOW! Just kidding. There will be quite a few stupid boys you have to look forward to, promise, and all but one will break your heart, and I'm just saying this one time, avoid boys that have red hair! Avoid them!

Do not take it seriously when these middle school girls pick on you for reading and being booksmart. I know where they are now, and you should know, everytime they make fun of you, just laugh in their faces and for about...8 years they'll wonder why and then get the joke of it all.

Take SAT prep. Done!

Everytime mom gives you money for allowance, save it up in an account. You will one day have a very scary thing in your life called a mortgage. Just know that it is the devil and will take your sunshine and rainbows away every time you see money leave your account.

Run, walk, bike, I don't care what you do, but you need to stay active. It will save you a lot of ghastly pictures in the future. No you're not fat, darling, you're just uncomfortable to look at now.

Take every opportunity you get or else you will indeed regret a lot in the future.

Don't feel too depressed if you don't get a part in a play. Start taking voice lessons and acting classes TODAY!

There will be a day when the world is going to seem like it is coming to an end, but it's not. There will be loads of days like them, but you need to wake up and get back out there in the world, because life is not waiting on you.

You will grow up to be a sexy beast, I just need to put that out there. Hopefully, this will get you on the road to self-confidence rather quickly. And there is so many people here who are going to love you just as you are, quirks, faults, and all. So just live!

I love you very much,

Morgan 21

ps- Don't eat turket sandwiches in Thomson, you will thank me later.

So, now I want each of you to post a comment with what you'd say to your 10 year ago self, whatever that may be. It's a great way of reflecting on the things you've done and haven't done and really gices you insight in to how you should be living your life today! So get to it, my friends!

The Battle for the Dress Part Deux

So, for the past month I have been hitting the gym at least three times a week to get in shape for my wedding, and in general, just for my life. I love going to the gym, it gets rid of stress and gets me out of the house and gives me time to just relax. Yes, going to the gym helps me relax more than vegging on the couch. So here are my results this month compared to last month.

Weight in May: 135.2 lbs

Weight in June: 136.6 lbs

Bust in May: 35"

Bust in June: 35 1/2"

Waist in May: 29 1/2"

Waist in June: 28 1/2" (lost an inch!)

Hips in May: 38 3/4"

Hips in June: 36 3/4" (lost two inches!)

Arms in May: 10 1/2"

Arms in June: 10 3/4" (but they're so much more muscular now)

Thigh in May: 22 1/2"

Thigh in June: 22 1/2"

So my results surprised me. I gained weight but lost inches off my wasit and hips. I can fit into my clothes better and that just makes me so happy. I wasn't happy with my weight gain so I started wlaking for 45 minutes, going to do my strength training, and then I ran for 45 minutes. It seems to be working. This month, I am incorporating healthier eating into my weight loss program. My Aunt Julie lost 45 pounds using a cookbook that has recipes that would normally be said to be bad for you, but the author makes them healthy and still delicious. So I am going to give that a try. Andrew actually made me some french toast from the book the other day that used light bread and imitation egg and it tasted awesome. So going grocery shopping today. The name of the books that i am going by are.

Wedding Cakes- Just A Few to Really Get the Creative Juices Going

When guests come to your wedding, chances are there will be two things they will be itching to see #1. You, the bride and #2. The wedding cake. Let's face it, the wedding cake is the centerpiece of your entire union. It showcases your tastes as a couple artistic and culinary. In fact, most wedding planners recommend you pick out your cake first to set the tone of your wedding. So, here are a few cakes to get your taste buds and creative juices going. To see more photos like this, check out http://www.theknot.com/.

The couple chose a buttercream frosting cake that was decorated with pink ribbon and fresh orchids.

Cake: Jacques Pastries, Suncook, NH; Photo By: Dachowski Photography, Manchester, NH

Thought of having a mountain wedding? This cake is sure to impress. This cake was created by the Ace of Cakes himself, Duff. I love "Ace of Cakes." My fiance and I watch it all the time!

Cake: Charm City Cakes Photo By: Paige Elizabeth, Denver, CO

There is just something about branches on cakes that really make me happy. This couple hit the branch motif on the nose!

Cake: Daube's Cakes & Bakery, Rochester Photo By: Christy Murray Photography, Simsbury, CT

This cake is so fun and whimsical and this is what I mean by couples expressing their style through their cake.

Cake: Gateaux Inc.

Photo By: Wendy Woods Photography

Registering 101

The highlight of many couple's wedding perks: the gifts. Now is the perfect time to ask for that really expensive set of cookware you've always wanted. Just kidding, well not really, a lot of couples do ask for some pretty outlandish stuff that they normally wouldn't. And that's the beauty of it. You can ask for whatever you want. However, you must keep in mind that you may not get it. So, let's begin with some registering etiquette, shall we?

1. Registering should be one of the first things you do. So, first you need to pick out what you need &/want, find a store or website that caters to that, and go registry window shopping. Leave your credit card on your dresser; you're not going to need it!
2. It is usually expected of guests to bring the couple a wedding present if they are invited to the ceremony and the reception. However, if a guest attends your soiree without a gift in tow, don't write them on your poo list, especially if they are not close to you or your family. If a guest is invited to the ceremony only, they are definitely not required to bring a gift.
3. Checks are a fun gift to receive, but are not meant to help you pay for the wedding. They should also be sent a "thank-you" note like everyone else.
   
4. There is no minimum or maximum of the cost of a gift. Let me let you you in on a myth: The cost of the food for the reception per head is how much the gift should cost. This is rubbish! Seriously, it's the thought that counts.
5. You are not, and I mean, NOT allowed to say where you are registered or ask for gifts on your save the dates or your invitations. To do so is to seem like you are expecting a gift in exchange for coming to the wedding. Not only is it rude, it makes you sound greedy. If you want to make your registry known, tell your parents and attendants where you are registered. This is so if they are asked by a guest, they will be able to pass on the information.
   
6. A little amendment to that rule, though. You are allowed to include your wedding website link on your save the dates and invites. The wedding website usually includes amenities for your guests such as links to restaurants, hotels, details of wedding events, maps to your ceremony and reception sites, etc. Your registry information can also be included on the page. It's not a faux-pas to include this now service on your site, which can be placed on your invites. Instead of looking you're blatantly asking for gifts, this will make the registry information look more like a service to your guests.
7. Always keep a record of your gift information: such as the giver, the gift, and the giver's address. Once gift giving becomes prominent, you should sit down as often as possible and write your guests thank you notes. This makes them feel appreciated and you don't get backed up with thank you's in the future. This also makes the whole thanks process a lot less boring if you are just writing 1-3 thank yous a day.
8. Thank yous should be sent ASAP after a gift is received. That whole one-year to write a thank you note rule is also rubbish. Just think of all that goes on in a year. Who wants a thank you note that late?
9. If you (God forbid) call off your wedding or you file for divorce or annulment immediately after the wedding, you are required to give the gifts back. You don't get any presents if there is no couple to give it to.

Some Registering Suggestions

1. If you are just a starting out couple, tradition is to register for household items. Ask for cookware, glasses, silverware, furniture, bath and bedding accessories, anything you know you're going to need for your new home together. Just make sure your fiance has a say in what you are registering for, because no self-respecting man wants a pink comforter in his bedroom. Then again, I may be wrong: I don't judge.
2. You don't have to have traditional gifts for your wedding. If you have enough cookware going into the wedding, you can ask for entertainment items. DVDs, CDs, books are always good gifts, especially if you feel guilty asking for expensive gifts.
3. Have everything you need? How about a honeymoon registry? There are now web sites that are able to allow your guests to go online and pick amenities that you choose for your registry and the registry will then send you a check the week of your wedding and the week after. For example, say you place a night at your honeymoon hotel on your registry. Your guest will see it on your registry, and (hopefully) purchase it for an extra minute cost. There you have it, a honeymoon registry.
4. If you are completely and utterly selfless, or just don't feel like receiving any gifts, but your guests are asking you where you are registered, because they want to give you something to commemorate your union, then ask them to donate to your favorite charity on your behalf. It's a wonderful way to help the world.

Here are a few websites you can look into for registries:

• www.bedbathandbeyond.com
• www.thehoneymoon.com
• www.macys.com
• www.walmart.com
• www.target.com
• www.belk.com

Happy shopping!

Breaking Down the Budget: Who Pays(Traditional and the Not-So-Much)

So, you may now have your wedding in mind. Whether it is going to be the social event of the season or just a little shindig in your backyard, it's always a daunting question about where the money is actually going to come from. Below is the traditional breakdown of wedding costs.

• The Bride's Family Pays for:

-The wedding planner

-All stationery, including invitations, thank you cards, announcements, and postage

-The bride's dress and sometimes the female attendents' dresses as well

-All reception expenses

- Flowers

-The groom's wedding ring

-Wedding photography and/or veideography

-Officiant fee

-Music

-Accomodations for all out of town guests

-Transportation of guests to and from the wedding and reception

• The Groom's Family

-The marriage license

-The bride's wedding ring

-The rehearsel dinner

-Flowers, mainly bouttonieres for the men

-Bachelor dinner

-Honeymoon

So, that's mainly it. Many a times, parents are more than happy to foot the bill, but if you are like me, the idea of my parents blowing all their hard earned money on a weekend of frivolities makes me feel uncomfortable. The above breakdown of expenses is really just old, outdated, and used as a default if you really don't know how to go about breaking them down. But this is more of a guideline than a rule now. Many brides and grooms are paying for their own weddings, or splitting the costs with both sides of the family if the parents are insistant on helping out financially. There is another reason why brides and grooms are not taking anything from their parents and that is if you want something done your way, being financially obligated to indulge your parents because they are paying will stifle your creativity and keep you away from the wedding of your dreams. And I'm not saying that parents who pay hold their kids arms bhind their backs and make them do the wedding their way. But when they make a suggestion you are expected to at least acknowledge it, and that is the polite thing to do. But then the suggestion begins to weigh on your mind more because your parents are paying and the suggestion came from them. So now I have listed the pros and cons of the paying parties:

1. The Traditional Breakdown. The pros are that the parents basically take care of everything and the couple rides off into the sunset not financially broken. The cons are that the parents are going to have more say in everything you choose, from the guest list to the music choices. My advice is to have a sit-down discussion with the parents, and let them know how much you appreciate them footing the bills, but also nicely reminding them that it is your big day, and advice from them will be solicited when needed. It will let your parents know where you stand as an adult and save you from a lot of conflict later. But if your parents have a very hands-on attitude about the wedding, discuss with them the aspects of the wedding that are important to them. That way you all have an understanding of who wants to do what and there won't be arguments over unexpected creative clashes.
2. The Bride and Groom pay. The pros are that you will learn how to budget together, have complete creative license over the affair, and you will really appreciate the event more because you paid for it. The cons are that you may have to, strike that, will have to constantly budget your living expenses with wedding expenses, possibly take out lines of credit to pay for it if you want something more elaborate, and could probably end up with less of a wedding than you were hoping for. My advice for that is to start saving now. Just putting back about $100 from each of your paychecks saves about $400 a month. Over the course of a year that's $4,800! Even cutting some expenses like eating out often or going to see a movie could save around $2,000 a year.
3. Everyone chipping in a little here and there. The pros is that not just one party is stuck with all the bills, everyone gets a say in the planning process or none if they choose. The cons are the more of people paying, the more opinions are going to be thrown into the wedding pot. Just remember to stick to your vision about your wedding day. If a contributor to the wedding comes forward and is very adamant about integrating an aspect of the wedding, discuss it with them and let them be heard. Don't dismiss the idea before you have heard them out.

Also, though tradition states the wedding party expenses are paid for by the bride and groom's families, you may want the attendents to help pay, mainly for their attire and transportation. Let them know way in advance so that they don't feel like they have been jipped as the wedding day approaches. This will give them time to decline the attendent invite if they can't afford the costs.

Mainly, for all aspects of the budgeting and money interests, you need to discuss it with all parties involved. Communication is key.

We Have Set the Date!

Hello, all! So this is more of a celebratory blog as opposed to an informative. Andrew and I went to Kilburnie on Sunday and the owner Johannes Tromp gave us a tour of the house and grounds as well as the ceremony and reception site at his residence at Craig Farm. I am not going to lie. I was 17 when my mom first drove me by Kilburnie, and ever since then I have wanted to be married there. The inn was originally built in downtown Lancaster until Johannes came down from the north. The building was being used as this gigantic rubbish storage place and was scheduled for demolition until Johannes purchased it and, get this, took the whole thing apart like a puzzle, and reassembled it across the street from Craig Farm. He restored to the house to its former glory and is now one of the most romantic sites in all of the South. So, anyways, Andrew ultimately fell in love with the inn like I did and we have September 4, 2010 under contract. I know it seems like a long time off, but for this venue we needed to make a decision fast. Kilburnie is a hot spot for weddings, and some have already been scheduled for 2011! But we are thrilled to basically have our venue booked and a set date. And yes, it's labor day weekend, but I am figuring out some ways to make it a wedding weekend so our guests from out of town will have a lot of fun. And yes, we are sticking to the $10,000 budget. Here's a few pictures of Kilburnie. It's just awesome, seriously.

Here is the link to Kilburnie's story if you really want to see what this place looked like before it was fixed. Just fantastic.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oh2feCQtjDc

Wedding Style Worksheet

Before you even think of how much you want to spend, you and your fiance need to sit down together and decide what kind of wedding you have in mind. This will help you both keep a uniform vision of how your wedding will be, as well as help you recognize what is important when it comes to your marriage and reception(or lack thereof). Just remember the key element to all of your wedding planning: your groom. Unless he has actually said the magic words," Whatever makes you happy will make me happy, go on and plan the wedding of your dreams without me," then you should include him in every aspect of the planning process. Someone told me how you two plan the wedding together and how you handle your wedding budget together will give you a glimpse into your married life. So, grab your partner and get to some planning!

• Describe your event(write down all that apply)

Intimate, Grand, Formal, Casual, Relaxed, Festive, Elegant, Traditional, Untraditional, Ethnic, Religious, Themed, Over the Top

• Locale(write down one or multiples if you are planning on celebrating in different places)

Where you live, Away from Home, Bride's Hometown, Groom's Hometown

• Size(choose the number of guests you think you would want at your wedding. The bigger, the more expensive and less intimate the affair becomes)

Intimate (<100),>

• Season(pick the season you would like to have your wedding. Think about the comfort of your guests)

Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter

• Hour(the earlier in the day you have your wedding and reception, the cheaper, more tips on how to determine the formality of the wedding based on time later)

Sunrise, Midday, Sunset, Evening, Late Night

• Date Choices(pretty self explanatory. Think of THE DAY you want to be married. Then write down alternative dates that you want to be married just in case the date is already taken at the venue you want, or something comes up)

• Choices of a Time for the Ceremony and the Reception(the reception does not have to follow immediatly after the ceremony, especially if it going to be held at another venue and you just want some time with your new spouse before the big party)

• Color Palette(what kind of colors do you see your wedding party in, your table linens, invitations, etc.)

Spring Pastels, Black & White, Citrus Hues, All White, Winter Palette, Metallic

• Festivities (what little parties do you want to have, if any at all, to celebrate your union, more on who hosts these later)

Engagement Party, Shower, Bachelorette Party, Bachelor Party, Couple Shower, Rehearsel Dinner, Wedding-Eve Party, Post-Reception Party, Morning After Brunch

• List Your Priorities from 1 to 10

Time of year/Day of Week, Officiant or Ceremony Location, Guest List, Food and Drink, Music, Reception Location, Attire, Ambiance, Mementos, How Wedding Will Be Carried Out

• Opinions that Count (Grip this one with all your might, especially when everybody feels like they have to give you advice on how they would do it. This is your day, do it your way.Check all that apply)

Bride & Groom, Friends & Attendents, Bride's Parents, Groom's Parents, Wedding Coordinator, Anybody Else

• Special Interests or Highlights in Your Relationship Story that Can Inspire Wedding Details

Remember, you don't have to rush through this in one night. Even revisiting this list and recognizing that your wedding style may evolve over the course of the planning journey is very important. If you feel like what you originally had in mind isn't working out for either of you anymore, then throw it out. You know my mantra: It's your day, do it your way.

Meeting the InLaws

So, one of the first things all new brides should do before they even think about getting married is atleast having one get-together with one of the groom's family members. And while this task may seem a wee bit daunting, the first thing you have to keep in mind is to breathe. It'll be okay. There are probably movie clips from "Meet the Fockers" or "Father of the Bride" running through your head of bad inlaw meetings, but in all truthfulness, your parents love you and just want you to be happy. After breaking the hopefully happy news of the new engagement, they will probably just want to meet each other and get to know each other before the whole circus gets underway. So, if you are a little nervous, have a feeling that you future mother in law may in fact hate you(mine does not), or are terrified that your parents will bring up some skeletons during the meeting, here are some tips to work your way through your first meeting with your new family.

1. I cannot say this enough. Just breathe. If you think the worst is going to happen, it will happen. If you haven't read "The Secret" yet, then you should just know that you create your own reality. So if you think you are going to botch the convo, then by some act of God set your new mother in laws dress on fire, you have just upped the probability of that happening. But if you believe that everything will run smoothly, chances are they will.

2.Food is your friend. If you are going to meet the inlaws, offer to bring along the dessert. If you are hosting the shindig, prepare the food yourself. It will open up conversation and show off your prowess in the kitchen. Just be careful not to overdo it with the cooking. If you don't know how to make mac-n-cheese, then don't try to make a 5-course meal all by your lonesome. You can get frozen food that you can just pop in the oven that is just as impressive or if you have a little extra cash, get in touch with a restaurant for fancy take-out ahead of time. You don't have to lie about it, just make it look good. You can joke about how you could make water burn during dinner. Yay for more convo!

3. Take it easy with the booze. Nothing loosens lips or ruins a meeting faster than free-flowing alcohol. Having a glass at dinner won't kill you, but don't think that alcohol is going to help with settling your nerves. Depending on it could really make things turn ugly really fast.

4. Ask your fiance about their parents and get some facts about them before you visit so you will have some easy conversation starters. And if the parents are meeting each other, find out what your families have in common like, "Mom, did you know that (insert fiance's name here) mom loves the opera?" That can guarantee you a little talk time.

5. Be polite. Don't curse, be friendly, just basically be on your best behavior until you really get to know how they react to certain things. You will have plenty of time to show your new family the less desirable side of yourself, but first impressions are important.

6. I see this one a lot on tips. Show interest. Your future inlaws may be boring as all get-out, but just like meeting new friends, you need to take some interest in what they're saying. Think of it this way, you may think they're boring, but they may think the same about you. And if they are still at least pretending to listen, then you can do the same. Talk to them, laugh at their jokes, offer your own stories after they have told their own. You know what that's called? Conversation! I'm excited that I have found a theme without trying. I'm a mess, I know.

7. Just be yourself. I know this seems a little hypocritical with all these tips on being on best your behavior, but really, you are just showing them the best side of yourself. Your fiance loves you, and that's all that matters. Getting in with his family is going to be a piece of cake.

Wedding Traditions and Their Crazy Origins

This is my favorite blog thus-far, because out of all traditions, wedding traditions are always going to be there. And most people follow them without regard to what they mean. Here are a few of my favorite wedding traditions and how they began:

• The Bride

The origin of the word bride means "cook." Bride can also refer to the bride as "the horse" in the conversion of ownership from one man to another, hence the giving away right of the father of the bride(explained later).

• The Groom

The origin of the word groom means "boy or youth." It also refers to the caretakers of their master's stables and...HORSES!!! Hello! Women have been referred to as horses and the men as their keepers for years and no one has done a thing about it!

• The Best Man

Back in the day (which was indeed a Wednesday, BTW) men would go into a village not of his own and steal away his bride from her more than reluctant parents. If things got a little crazy, he brought along his best man to be his second. The best man was really the "best" swordsman and fighter the groom knew so he would go along with the groom to give him a little more than the simple moral support required by BMs today. The best man was also expected to guard the door of the newlyweds home in case her family came to get her back or the bride would make a run for it.

• The Bridesmaids

These days, it's an honor to be asked to be a bridesmaid. In weddings where the bride was alright with the marriage, or atleast not being stolen from her family, she instructed her bridesmaids to wear dresses that were similar to hers. This was so that the bridesmaids could act as decoys to the evil spirits or former lovers of the bride and the bridesmaids would surround the bride so that one of them would be stolen away and not the bride herself. Kind of takes the ring out of being one, doesn't it?

• The Rings

The ring finger is still referred to as such because the Romans believed that the "vein of love" to the heart ran through the fourth finger on the left hand, and the wedding rings have remained on those fingers pretty much since the institution of marriage began. The ring represented eternity and the metal of the ring represented the husband's wealth in later years. Before wedding rings were thought up, life expectancies were relatively low and husbands would place rings made of leaves and bendable branches on their wives' wrists and ankles to keep their souls from "leaking out" and leaving them before their time to go. Talk about romantic. Wedding rings were basically for the women until the 20th century when men started wearing them, too, as a sign of mutual ownership and "off the market"-ness.

• Wedding Announcements

Those little invitations will give you some kind of grief, but wedding announcements actually didn't start out as giving the guests time to mark their calendars and RSVP. It was to give them ample time to object to the marriage.

• Giving Away of the Bride

Still a tradition today, it's a father's honor to give his baby girl away. But the tradition actually began as the father giving his daughter away for peace or profit. When it was for peace, the warring families of the bride and groom would need to be present for the wedding; but since they hated each other, they would have to be seated on opposite sides of the church, hence the bride's side and groom's side. Talk about meeting the in-laws!

• The Veil

Now a symbol of virginity and virtue, the veil was actually placed over the bride's face to keep the groom from seeing her before the ceremony so he wouldn't back out of the agreement if she was a "dog." The veil was removed from the bride's face only after the vows had been exchanged. Haha sucker!

• The Wedding Dress

It's so customary now to be "all dressed in white," and it's hard to believe that bride's were married in nothing but white. However, the wedding dress was simply whatever the bride had in her wardrobe that looked the best. It wasn't until after the marriage of Queen Victoria in the 19th century that white dresses became the eptiome of bridal fashion.

• Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something Blue, and Six-Pence in My Shoe

"Something Old" refers to the connection the bride has to her family, mainly her mother or mother-figure in her life. Requires the bride to wear something from her family.

"Something New" represented the transition to her new life, usually something from her new family.

"Something Borrowed" would usually be borrowed from a married couple so that their good luck would follow the new married couple into their marriage.

"Something Blue" was the Jewish custom of the bride's dress border being blue to represent her purity.

"Sixpence in My Shoe" represented the penny that would go in the shoe to wish financial happiness in the marriage.

• The Tossing of the Garter and Bouquet

Back in the day, right after the wedding ceremony, the bride and groom would steal away to a room to consummate their marriage before the reception. Most family members would want proof, so they would (deep breath) stand around the marriage bed and make sure the couple was indeed doing their business right. On the way to the chamber, guests would tear at the bride's dress for good luck. Well, of course, this can really get to some people over time. So the bride would toss her bouquet so the guests so they could get their good luck, and the groom would toss out the garter from the chamber to show the guests that he was indeed about to get down to some consummating and the guests would stop being creepers and watching them do the dirty.

• The Freezing of the Wedding Cake

Usually right after the marriage, the bride was expected to get pregnant. So, instead of going through all that trouble of making another cake, the bride and groom would simply freeze the cake for the arrival of their baby, which usually came a year after their marriage.

Those are my favorites. If you have any more, please post them! I love these!

Bridal Etiquette Lesson #1: Getting Engaged and Telling People

So the ring is on your finger, your special someone has asked you to be with them forever and you have said "yes." Before you do any calling or telling, just, first of all, take a moment for you and your new fiance to take it all in. Getting engaged is a big step; sometimes a big scary step. So before you do anything else, hold them for as long as you can, kiss them, tell them how much you love them before you grab your phone and call everyone you ever knew. I swear there will be plenty of time to tell everyone and recount the story of the magical moment. But just take that moment. This isn't an etiquette thing as much as just relishing the moment that you probably thought about since you were little. So when you finally do pick up your phone to call, be prepared to tell the same story over and over and over annnnd over again. Yes, it may get old really fast, but this is the first time everyone else gets to hear it, so you have to sound excited or atleast sound like you're still glowing when you're recounting the event. People realy do want to hear about it. Getting engaged has been hyped up so much these days that sometimes the engagements are equally just as big as the weddings themselves. Speaking of which, like most things in our lives, what we always dreamed it to be will probably be better than what really happens. You may feel numb after the proposal, wondering if it's going to hit you that you are indeed engaged and also worried about why you are not more excited than those crazy screaming girls you seen in the movies or on the street. Just so you know, there is nothing wrong with you. Again, it may just take a second to adjust to the whole transition. This little period could take weeks, sometimes months. I still have a hard time calling Andrew my fiance. That being said, here is some "etiquette" traditional and new-age that will help you with getting engaged and breaking the news.

• Getting Engaged

Tradition states that the guy would have to go to the girl's parents to first ask their permission before even buying her a ring, waiting for the perfect moment, get down on one knee, and asking her to marry him. That's how my engagement worked, mostly because my parents required it to be that way. But, come on, women have grown to be self-sufficient bread-winners in the relationship, as well. Why let the boys have all the fun? You're allowed to pop the question, too. And if you've been together some time, even just talking about it and mutually agreeing to get married through a discussion is an acceptable way of "popping the question." Whatever floats your boat is basically the theme here. However, at least letting your parents know of this person's existance and theirs of yours is recommendable so as to not give your parents the shock of their lives (unless you like that sort of thing, I don't judge).

• The Engagement Ring

In tradition, the boy buys the girl a ring and when she breaks the news, women of all ages will usually grab at the left hand, demanding to see the rock. In tradition, also, the woman picks out the ring, the guy buys it and presents it to her upon engagement. Now though, you don't need a ring to be engaged. And it doesn't have to be a diamond, either. If there isn't a ring and someone seems to disapprove or call your guy a cheapskate, you will be able to do a number of things: retort with "He just couldn't find a ring worthy of me" or something along those lines and if someone does call your guy a cheapskate, then that is one person off your guest list right there. When talking about engagement, ask your guy first if he wants to pick out the ring if you do drop the hint of wanting one. Tradition states that it must be worth two months of what he makes, but I think that's crap. Giving up two month's salary for something so insignificant in the grand scheme of things is so impractical. There are better things to do with that money. But, back to the picking out an engagement ring, just mention to him what you would want in a ring, and then, if he wants to design the ring, let him. It may be a little daunting for you letting your guy do this, but having him create something special for you will just add to it when it is on your finger. Give the guy a chance to really do something awesome; you would be surprised with what he can do. And for the other way around, why not buy your guy an engagement ring, too? It doesn't have to be anything uber-expensive, but it would be a nice gesture and a symbol of your commitment to eachother if you do decide to get rings.

• Meeting the Parents

Tradition states that immediatly after the engagement, the groom's parents call on the bride's family to have a meeting of the families. Then, at other times, the bride's family is the one to make the general introduction. But if you are like many newly-engaged couples, there is a lot to deal with when thinking about the parents getting together. There may be little snags in that general rule like divorced parents, long distances between the two, time conflicts, etc. These days, the couple can plan the meeting of the inlaws since they can act as liaisons between the families and figure out a time, any time really, for the families to meet. It doesn't have to be a big dinner and it doesn't have to be immediatly following the engagement. And the parents don't even have to be best friends. The meeting of the families is basically a little get-together to meet your new future family members and can be planned anytime before the wedding, including the days before the big day if there is a ton of distance to be covered between the families.

• Engagement Announcements

You see them in the Sunday papers: the engagement annoucements of the newly engaged couples who will be making their way down the aisle in a year or so. They look so blissfully happy. If you have always wanted your picture with "the one" in that Sunday paper, tradition states that you should post it tops a year before the nuptials. If you don't feel like letting everyone you ever loved and hated know, then engagement announcements in the paper are indeed not necessary.