A Note

Dear Guys,
There was a time when you all had to make the first move. A time when girls didn't have to throw up every signal in existence to get a date. A time when you got the chutzbah to say "Hey, I like you, let's go out sometime" or even "I want to be with you." Somewhere after the '90's I guess, because I just remember all these movies talking about how "it's the 90's, girls can ask guys out," guys pretty much stopped asking girls out on dates or telling them how they felt in general. Somehow, it was encoded into my psyche that if I liked a boy, I was the pursuer, because the boy, even if he liked me, would never make the first move. At the same time, I am a shy girl. I don't do too well with revealing the true me without proper encouragement. With me, even though I am the one to always pursue, I am also the one to clam up upon actually getting a date. Alot of the time I wonder if they are there because I was the only one to ask them out or if they really do fancy me. And you guys just clam up. I don't need a whole shpeel on your ardent feelings for me, but please, if any girl asks if you care about her, or asks what you want, please tell her. As for me, if you don't know what you want from life, please don't become involved with me. I allowed myself to fall so hard for this one person who had no idea what he wanted, even though I made it clear to him he was what I wanted and I had a feeling I could make him happy. But he said he didn't know, and he lost me. Before the question was asked, I was able to be myself around him, and then after, it was the most horrible awkwardness on my part because I didn't know how to act with him. I was afraid to touch him, to play with him, to enjoy myself with him as the real me, because I was afraid of becoming too attached to someone who didn't and probably wouldn't love me back. It broke my heart. So, the moral of the story is, please, before you get involved with anyone, boys (and girls for that matter), atleast have an idea of what you want. And if you don't want that person, don't lead them on. It will break them worse than anything. Second, guys, if you fancy a girl, ask her out on a date. So what if she says "no?" You tried and that's all that matters. If you guys are already acquainted, then the more reason she has to say "yes." As for me, I am tired of pursuing. I think I am at a point in my life where I think I am worth fighting for, working to win over, or even just driving about an hour or so to visit. I am a hopeless romantic, I suppose, who upon leaving a lover behind they follow me just to give me an extra kiss goodbye. Whatever. I am exhausted from this heartbreak of mine. If you like, care about, or love me, come and get me. I am waiting. And I am sure many girls would sympathize with me.

A Few of My Favorite Thing

With the recession still raging at my door, and feeling sick to my stomach knowing that there are people out there with a quarter of Andrew's IQ taking all the good jobs leaving Andrew with nothing, I have decided to make a little list of things I appreciate in my life.

1. My family. My parents are so supportive of everything I do, and yeah they sometimes push my buttons, but I love them. And my sister is so uber-talented, and she has this amazing life and career ahead of her, and at 17, that is simply amazing.
2. Andrew. I rant, and I rave, and that guy still loves me as much as the first day he told me so. And the thing is, I love him back. Can't help but love him. Even when we wake up in the mornings and my hair is crazy and he smells funny, we still love each other. And that is so going to pay off when we are in our 80's, 90's, and even the golden 100's. He's my best friend; 'nough said.
3. My friends. They love me even though I am a freak of nature, and I love them back. They don't even know how much I'm grateful they are in my life.
4. When a pair of pants I considered too small a year ago come off without me unbuttoning them today. I have a pair of size 10 American Eagle jeans and when i am chaning into my pajamas, I don't even have to unbutton the things. Ego-boost, big time.
5. Kooshie chair at the front desk. It's kooshie, and it's a chair. And I get to sit in it from 11:30 PM to 7:30 AM every Saturday and Monday. I love it.
6. Curling up with Andrew at 8:00 AM after a night on the desk. I spend two nights a week working in a cold lobby with technically no human contact. When I get home and into my bed, and Andrew wraps his arms around me and snuggles, it's the best feeling in the world.
7. Andrew reading "Angels and Demons." It's a great book, and Andrew makes it funny.
8. Blogging. I love talking about myself. So, yeah, support my favorite thing and become a follower.
9. Praying. It makes me feel so much better knowing that God is watching over me, my family, and everything in general. And even when the bad things happen, it doesn't take Him/Her long to show me why things had to be that way. God is awesome.
10. Sudoku. My sister introduced it to me about 3 years ago. It's an amazing game, highly addictive, and when I finish off a puzzle, I feel really smart.
11. Taking naps. Enough said there.
12. Copying recipes. The adult female equivalent to coloring pages, in my opinion. It's very zen, very exciting, even because you can't wait until you can try the recipe out yourself.
13. Smelling things that bring back memories. It's one of the best things I experience randomly.
14. Wedding planning. I think even after Andrew and I get married, I will be wedding planning.
15. Looking at cats in Pet Smart. There is this one gray one named Dani. She has very sad eyes, gray hair, and everytime I come to visit her, I just fall in love with her. I really want to adopt her, but can't until Andrew gets a job.
16. Watching a seed become sprouts. My friend got me an herb garden for housewarming, and Friday, little green sprouts emerged from the soil. Talk about miracles.

That's all I have for now. These are a few of my favorite things. What are yours?