The Battle for the Dress Part Deux

So, for the past month I have been hitting the gym at least three times a week to get in shape for my wedding, and in general, just for my life. I love going to the gym, it gets rid of stress and gets me out of the house and gives me time to just relax. Yes, going to the gym helps me relax more than vegging on the couch. So here are my results this month compared to last month.

Weight in May: 135.2 lbs

Weight in June: 136.6 lbs

Bust in May: 35"

Bust in June: 35 1/2"

Waist in May: 29 1/2"

Waist in June: 28 1/2" (lost an inch!)

Hips in May: 38 3/4"

Hips in June: 36 3/4" (lost two inches!)

Arms in May: 10 1/2"

Arms in June: 10 3/4" (but they're so much more muscular now)

Thigh in May: 22 1/2"

Thigh in June: 22 1/2"

So my results surprised me. I gained weight but lost inches off my wasit and hips. I can fit into my clothes better and that just makes me so happy. I wasn't happy with my weight gain so I started wlaking for 45 minutes, going to do my strength training, and then I ran for 45 minutes. It seems to be working. This month, I am incorporating healthier eating into my weight loss program. My Aunt Julie lost 45 pounds using a cookbook that has recipes that would normally be said to be bad for you, but the author makes them healthy and still delicious. So I am going to give that a try. Andrew actually made me some french toast from the book the other day that used light bread and imitation egg and it tasted awesome. So going grocery shopping today. The name of the books that i am going by are.

Wedding Cakes- Just A Few to Really Get the Creative Juices Going

When guests come to your wedding, chances are there will be two things they will be itching to see #1. You, the bride and #2. The wedding cake. Let's face it, the wedding cake is the centerpiece of your entire union. It showcases your tastes as a couple artistic and culinary. In fact, most wedding planners recommend you pick out your cake first to set the tone of your wedding. So, here are a few cakes to get your taste buds and creative juices going. To see more photos like this, check out http://www.theknot.com/.

The couple chose a buttercream frosting cake that was decorated with pink ribbon and fresh orchids.

Cake: Jacques Pastries, Suncook, NH; Photo By: Dachowski Photography, Manchester, NH

Thought of having a mountain wedding? This cake is sure to impress. This cake was created by the Ace of Cakes himself, Duff. I love "Ace of Cakes." My fiance and I watch it all the time!

Cake: Charm City Cakes Photo By: Paige Elizabeth, Denver, CO

There is just something about branches on cakes that really make me happy. This couple hit the branch motif on the nose!

Cake: Daube's Cakes & Bakery, Rochester Photo By: Christy Murray Photography, Simsbury, CT

This cake is so fun and whimsical and this is what I mean by couples expressing their style through their cake.

Cake: Gateaux Inc.

Photo By: Wendy Woods Photography

Registering 101

The highlight of many couple's wedding perks: the gifts. Now is the perfect time to ask for that really expensive set of cookware you've always wanted. Just kidding, well not really, a lot of couples do ask for some pretty outlandish stuff that they normally wouldn't. And that's the beauty of it. You can ask for whatever you want. However, you must keep in mind that you may not get it. So, let's begin with some registering etiquette, shall we?

1. Registering should be one of the first things you do. So, first you need to pick out what you need &/want, find a store or website that caters to that, and go registry window shopping. Leave your credit card on your dresser; you're not going to need it!
2. It is usually expected of guests to bring the couple a wedding present if they are invited to the ceremony and the reception. However, if a guest attends your soiree without a gift in tow, don't write them on your poo list, especially if they are not close to you or your family. If a guest is invited to the ceremony only, they are definitely not required to bring a gift.
3. Checks are a fun gift to receive, but are not meant to help you pay for the wedding. They should also be sent a "thank-you" note like everyone else.
   
4. There is no minimum or maximum of the cost of a gift. Let me let you you in on a myth: The cost of the food for the reception per head is how much the gift should cost. This is rubbish! Seriously, it's the thought that counts.
5. You are not, and I mean, NOT allowed to say where you are registered or ask for gifts on your save the dates or your invitations. To do so is to seem like you are expecting a gift in exchange for coming to the wedding. Not only is it rude, it makes you sound greedy. If you want to make your registry known, tell your parents and attendants where you are registered. This is so if they are asked by a guest, they will be able to pass on the information.
   
6. A little amendment to that rule, though. You are allowed to include your wedding website link on your save the dates and invites. The wedding website usually includes amenities for your guests such as links to restaurants, hotels, details of wedding events, maps to your ceremony and reception sites, etc. Your registry information can also be included on the page. It's not a faux-pas to include this now service on your site, which can be placed on your invites. Instead of looking you're blatantly asking for gifts, this will make the registry information look more like a service to your guests.
7. Always keep a record of your gift information: such as the giver, the gift, and the giver's address. Once gift giving becomes prominent, you should sit down as often as possible and write your guests thank you notes. This makes them feel appreciated and you don't get backed up with thank you's in the future. This also makes the whole thanks process a lot less boring if you are just writing 1-3 thank yous a day.
8. Thank yous should be sent ASAP after a gift is received. That whole one-year to write a thank you note rule is also rubbish. Just think of all that goes on in a year. Who wants a thank you note that late?
9. If you (God forbid) call off your wedding or you file for divorce or annulment immediately after the wedding, you are required to give the gifts back. You don't get any presents if there is no couple to give it to.

Some Registering Suggestions

1. If you are just a starting out couple, tradition is to register for household items. Ask for cookware, glasses, silverware, furniture, bath and bedding accessories, anything you know you're going to need for your new home together. Just make sure your fiance has a say in what you are registering for, because no self-respecting man wants a pink comforter in his bedroom. Then again, I may be wrong: I don't judge.
2. You don't have to have traditional gifts for your wedding. If you have enough cookware going into the wedding, you can ask for entertainment items. DVDs, CDs, books are always good gifts, especially if you feel guilty asking for expensive gifts.
3. Have everything you need? How about a honeymoon registry? There are now web sites that are able to allow your guests to go online and pick amenities that you choose for your registry and the registry will then send you a check the week of your wedding and the week after. For example, say you place a night at your honeymoon hotel on your registry. Your guest will see it on your registry, and (hopefully) purchase it for an extra minute cost. There you have it, a honeymoon registry.
4. If you are completely and utterly selfless, or just don't feel like receiving any gifts, but your guests are asking you where you are registered, because they want to give you something to commemorate your union, then ask them to donate to your favorite charity on your behalf. It's a wonderful way to help the world.

Here are a few websites you can look into for registries:

• www.bedbathandbeyond.com
• www.thehoneymoon.com
• www.macys.com
• www.walmart.com
• www.target.com
• www.belk.com

Happy shopping!

Breaking Down the Budget: Who Pays(Traditional and the Not-So-Much)

So, you may now have your wedding in mind. Whether it is going to be the social event of the season or just a little shindig in your backyard, it's always a daunting question about where the money is actually going to come from. Below is the traditional breakdown of wedding costs.

• The Bride's Family Pays for:

-The wedding planner

-All stationery, including invitations, thank you cards, announcements, and postage

-The bride's dress and sometimes the female attendents' dresses as well

-All reception expenses

- Flowers

-The groom's wedding ring

-Wedding photography and/or veideography

-Officiant fee

-Music

-Accomodations for all out of town guests

-Transportation of guests to and from the wedding and reception

• The Groom's Family

-The marriage license

-The bride's wedding ring

-The rehearsel dinner

-Flowers, mainly bouttonieres for the men

-Bachelor dinner

-Honeymoon

So, that's mainly it. Many a times, parents are more than happy to foot the bill, but if you are like me, the idea of my parents blowing all their hard earned money on a weekend of frivolities makes me feel uncomfortable. The above breakdown of expenses is really just old, outdated, and used as a default if you really don't know how to go about breaking them down. But this is more of a guideline than a rule now. Many brides and grooms are paying for their own weddings, or splitting the costs with both sides of the family if the parents are insistant on helping out financially. There is another reason why brides and grooms are not taking anything from their parents and that is if you want something done your way, being financially obligated to indulge your parents because they are paying will stifle your creativity and keep you away from the wedding of your dreams. And I'm not saying that parents who pay hold their kids arms bhind their backs and make them do the wedding their way. But when they make a suggestion you are expected to at least acknowledge it, and that is the polite thing to do. But then the suggestion begins to weigh on your mind more because your parents are paying and the suggestion came from them. So now I have listed the pros and cons of the paying parties:

1. The Traditional Breakdown. The pros are that the parents basically take care of everything and the couple rides off into the sunset not financially broken. The cons are that the parents are going to have more say in everything you choose, from the guest list to the music choices. My advice is to have a sit-down discussion with the parents, and let them know how much you appreciate them footing the bills, but also nicely reminding them that it is your big day, and advice from them will be solicited when needed. It will let your parents know where you stand as an adult and save you from a lot of conflict later. But if your parents have a very hands-on attitude about the wedding, discuss with them the aspects of the wedding that are important to them. That way you all have an understanding of who wants to do what and there won't be arguments over unexpected creative clashes.
2. The Bride and Groom pay. The pros are that you will learn how to budget together, have complete creative license over the affair, and you will really appreciate the event more because you paid for it. The cons are that you may have to, strike that, will have to constantly budget your living expenses with wedding expenses, possibly take out lines of credit to pay for it if you want something more elaborate, and could probably end up with less of a wedding than you were hoping for. My advice for that is to start saving now. Just putting back about $100 from each of your paychecks saves about $400 a month. Over the course of a year that's $4,800! Even cutting some expenses like eating out often or going to see a movie could save around $2,000 a year.
3. Everyone chipping in a little here and there. The pros is that not just one party is stuck with all the bills, everyone gets a say in the planning process or none if they choose. The cons are the more of people paying, the more opinions are going to be thrown into the wedding pot. Just remember to stick to your vision about your wedding day. If a contributor to the wedding comes forward and is very adamant about integrating an aspect of the wedding, discuss it with them and let them be heard. Don't dismiss the idea before you have heard them out.

Also, though tradition states the wedding party expenses are paid for by the bride and groom's families, you may want the attendents to help pay, mainly for their attire and transportation. Let them know way in advance so that they don't feel like they have been jipped as the wedding day approaches. This will give them time to decline the attendent invite if they can't afford the costs.

Mainly, for all aspects of the budgeting and money interests, you need to discuss it with all parties involved. Communication is key.

We Have Set the Date!

Hello, all! So this is more of a celebratory blog as opposed to an informative. Andrew and I went to Kilburnie on Sunday and the owner Johannes Tromp gave us a tour of the house and grounds as well as the ceremony and reception site at his residence at Craig Farm. I am not going to lie. I was 17 when my mom first drove me by Kilburnie, and ever since then I have wanted to be married there. The inn was originally built in downtown Lancaster until Johannes came down from the north. The building was being used as this gigantic rubbish storage place and was scheduled for demolition until Johannes purchased it and, get this, took the whole thing apart like a puzzle, and reassembled it across the street from Craig Farm. He restored to the house to its former glory and is now one of the most romantic sites in all of the South. So, anyways, Andrew ultimately fell in love with the inn like I did and we have September 4, 2010 under contract. I know it seems like a long time off, but for this venue we needed to make a decision fast. Kilburnie is a hot spot for weddings, and some have already been scheduled for 2011! But we are thrilled to basically have our venue booked and a set date. And yes, it's labor day weekend, but I am figuring out some ways to make it a wedding weekend so our guests from out of town will have a lot of fun. And yes, we are sticking to the $10,000 budget. Here's a few pictures of Kilburnie. It's just awesome, seriously.

Here is the link to Kilburnie's story if you really want to see what this place looked like before it was fixed. Just fantastic.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oh2feCQtjDc

Wedding Style Worksheet

Before you even think of how much you want to spend, you and your fiance need to sit down together and decide what kind of wedding you have in mind. This will help you both keep a uniform vision of how your wedding will be, as well as help you recognize what is important when it comes to your marriage and reception(or lack thereof). Just remember the key element to all of your wedding planning: your groom. Unless he has actually said the magic words," Whatever makes you happy will make me happy, go on and plan the wedding of your dreams without me," then you should include him in every aspect of the planning process. Someone told me how you two plan the wedding together and how you handle your wedding budget together will give you a glimpse into your married life. So, grab your partner and get to some planning!

• Describe your event(write down all that apply)

Intimate, Grand, Formal, Casual, Relaxed, Festive, Elegant, Traditional, Untraditional, Ethnic, Religious, Themed, Over the Top

• Locale(write down one or multiples if you are planning on celebrating in different places)

Where you live, Away from Home, Bride's Hometown, Groom's Hometown

• Size(choose the number of guests you think you would want at your wedding. The bigger, the more expensive and less intimate the affair becomes)

Intimate (<100),>

• Season(pick the season you would like to have your wedding. Think about the comfort of your guests)

Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter

• Hour(the earlier in the day you have your wedding and reception, the cheaper, more tips on how to determine the formality of the wedding based on time later)

Sunrise, Midday, Sunset, Evening, Late Night

• Date Choices(pretty self explanatory. Think of THE DAY you want to be married. Then write down alternative dates that you want to be married just in case the date is already taken at the venue you want, or something comes up)

• Choices of a Time for the Ceremony and the Reception(the reception does not have to follow immediatly after the ceremony, especially if it going to be held at another venue and you just want some time with your new spouse before the big party)

• Color Palette(what kind of colors do you see your wedding party in, your table linens, invitations, etc.)

Spring Pastels, Black & White, Citrus Hues, All White, Winter Palette, Metallic

• Festivities (what little parties do you want to have, if any at all, to celebrate your union, more on who hosts these later)

Engagement Party, Shower, Bachelorette Party, Bachelor Party, Couple Shower, Rehearsel Dinner, Wedding-Eve Party, Post-Reception Party, Morning After Brunch

• List Your Priorities from 1 to 10

Time of year/Day of Week, Officiant or Ceremony Location, Guest List, Food and Drink, Music, Reception Location, Attire, Ambiance, Mementos, How Wedding Will Be Carried Out

• Opinions that Count (Grip this one with all your might, especially when everybody feels like they have to give you advice on how they would do it. This is your day, do it your way.Check all that apply)

Bride & Groom, Friends & Attendents, Bride's Parents, Groom's Parents, Wedding Coordinator, Anybody Else

• Special Interests or Highlights in Your Relationship Story that Can Inspire Wedding Details

Remember, you don't have to rush through this in one night. Even revisiting this list and recognizing that your wedding style may evolve over the course of the planning journey is very important. If you feel like what you originally had in mind isn't working out for either of you anymore, then throw it out. You know my mantra: It's your day, do it your way.

Meeting the InLaws

So, one of the first things all new brides should do before they even think about getting married is atleast having one get-together with one of the groom's family members. And while this task may seem a wee bit daunting, the first thing you have to keep in mind is to breathe. It'll be okay. There are probably movie clips from "Meet the Fockers" or "Father of the Bride" running through your head of bad inlaw meetings, but in all truthfulness, your parents love you and just want you to be happy. After breaking the hopefully happy news of the new engagement, they will probably just want to meet each other and get to know each other before the whole circus gets underway. So, if you are a little nervous, have a feeling that you future mother in law may in fact hate you(mine does not), or are terrified that your parents will bring up some skeletons during the meeting, here are some tips to work your way through your first meeting with your new family.

1. I cannot say this enough. Just breathe. If you think the worst is going to happen, it will happen. If you haven't read "The Secret" yet, then you should just know that you create your own reality. So if you think you are going to botch the convo, then by some act of God set your new mother in laws dress on fire, you have just upped the probability of that happening. But if you believe that everything will run smoothly, chances are they will.

2.Food is your friend. If you are going to meet the inlaws, offer to bring along the dessert. If you are hosting the shindig, prepare the food yourself. It will open up conversation and show off your prowess in the kitchen. Just be careful not to overdo it with the cooking. If you don't know how to make mac-n-cheese, then don't try to make a 5-course meal all by your lonesome. You can get frozen food that you can just pop in the oven that is just as impressive or if you have a little extra cash, get in touch with a restaurant for fancy take-out ahead of time. You don't have to lie about it, just make it look good. You can joke about how you could make water burn during dinner. Yay for more convo!

3. Take it easy with the booze. Nothing loosens lips or ruins a meeting faster than free-flowing alcohol. Having a glass at dinner won't kill you, but don't think that alcohol is going to help with settling your nerves. Depending on it could really make things turn ugly really fast.

4. Ask your fiance about their parents and get some facts about them before you visit so you will have some easy conversation starters. And if the parents are meeting each other, find out what your families have in common like, "Mom, did you know that (insert fiance's name here) mom loves the opera?" That can guarantee you a little talk time.

5. Be polite. Don't curse, be friendly, just basically be on your best behavior until you really get to know how they react to certain things. You will have plenty of time to show your new family the less desirable side of yourself, but first impressions are important.

6. I see this one a lot on tips. Show interest. Your future inlaws may be boring as all get-out, but just like meeting new friends, you need to take some interest in what they're saying. Think of it this way, you may think they're boring, but they may think the same about you. And if they are still at least pretending to listen, then you can do the same. Talk to them, laugh at their jokes, offer your own stories after they have told their own. You know what that's called? Conversation! I'm excited that I have found a theme without trying. I'm a mess, I know.

7. Just be yourself. I know this seems a little hypocritical with all these tips on being on best your behavior, but really, you are just showing them the best side of yourself. Your fiance loves you, and that's all that matters. Getting in with his family is going to be a piece of cake.