The Battle for the Dress Part Deux

So, for the past month I have been hitting the gym at least three times a week to get in shape for my wedding, and in general, just for my life. I love going to the gym, it gets rid of stress and gets me out of the house and gives me time to just relax. Yes, going to the gym helps me relax more than vegging on the couch. So here are my results this month compared to last month.

Weight in May: 135.2 lbs

Weight in June: 136.6 lbs

Bust in May: 35"

Bust in June: 35 1/2"

Waist in May: 29 1/2"

Waist in June: 28 1/2" (lost an inch!)

Hips in May: 38 3/4"

Hips in June: 36 3/4" (lost two inches!)

Arms in May: 10 1/2"

Arms in June: 10 3/4" (but they're so much more muscular now)

Thigh in May: 22 1/2"

Thigh in June: 22 1/2"

So my results surprised me. I gained weight but lost inches off my wasit and hips. I can fit into my clothes better and that just makes me so happy. I wasn't happy with my weight gain so I started wlaking for 45 minutes, going to do my strength training, and then I ran for 45 minutes. It seems to be working. This month, I am incorporating healthier eating into my weight loss program. My Aunt Julie lost 45 pounds using a cookbook that has recipes that would normally be said to be bad for you, but the author makes them healthy and still delicious. So I am going to give that a try. Andrew actually made me some french toast from the book the other day that used light bread and imitation egg and it tasted awesome. So going grocery shopping today. The name of the books that i am going by are.

Wedding Cakes- Just A Few to Really Get the Creative Juices Going

When guests come to your wedding, chances are there will be two things they will be itching to see #1. You, the bride and #2. The wedding cake. Let's face it, the wedding cake is the centerpiece of your entire union. It showcases your tastes as a couple artistic and culinary. In fact, most wedding planners recommend you pick out your cake first to set the tone of your wedding. So, here are a few cakes to get your taste buds and creative juices going. To see more photos like this, check out http://www.theknot.com/.

The couple chose a buttercream frosting cake that was decorated with pink ribbon and fresh orchids.

Cake: Jacques Pastries, Suncook, NH; Photo By: Dachowski Photography, Manchester, NH

Thought of having a mountain wedding? This cake is sure to impress. This cake was created by the Ace of Cakes himself, Duff. I love "Ace of Cakes." My fiance and I watch it all the time!

Cake: Charm City Cakes Photo By: Paige Elizabeth, Denver, CO

There is just something about branches on cakes that really make me happy. This couple hit the branch motif on the nose!

Cake: Daube's Cakes & Bakery, Rochester Photo By: Christy Murray Photography, Simsbury, CT

This cake is so fun and whimsical and this is what I mean by couples expressing their style through their cake.

Cake: Gateaux Inc.

Photo By: Wendy Woods Photography

Registering 101

The highlight of many couple's wedding perks: the gifts. Now is the perfect time to ask for that really expensive set of cookware you've always wanted. Just kidding, well not really, a lot of couples do ask for some pretty outlandish stuff that they normally wouldn't. And that's the beauty of it. You can ask for whatever you want. However, you must keep in mind that you may not get it. So, let's begin with some registering etiquette, shall we?

1. Registering should be one of the first things you do. So, first you need to pick out what you need &/want, find a store or website that caters to that, and go registry window shopping. Leave your credit card on your dresser; you're not going to need it!
2. It is usually expected of guests to bring the couple a wedding present if they are invited to the ceremony and the reception. However, if a guest attends your soiree without a gift in tow, don't write them on your poo list, especially if they are not close to you or your family. If a guest is invited to the ceremony only, they are definitely not required to bring a gift.
3. Checks are a fun gift to receive, but are not meant to help you pay for the wedding. They should also be sent a "thank-you" note like everyone else.
   
4. There is no minimum or maximum of the cost of a gift. Let me let you you in on a myth: The cost of the food for the reception per head is how much the gift should cost. This is rubbish! Seriously, it's the thought that counts.
5. You are not, and I mean, NOT allowed to say where you are registered or ask for gifts on your save the dates or your invitations. To do so is to seem like you are expecting a gift in exchange for coming to the wedding. Not only is it rude, it makes you sound greedy. If you want to make your registry known, tell your parents and attendants where you are registered. This is so if they are asked by a guest, they will be able to pass on the information.
   
6. A little amendment to that rule, though. You are allowed to include your wedding website link on your save the dates and invites. The wedding website usually includes amenities for your guests such as links to restaurants, hotels, details of wedding events, maps to your ceremony and reception sites, etc. Your registry information can also be included on the page. It's not a faux-pas to include this now service on your site, which can be placed on your invites. Instead of looking you're blatantly asking for gifts, this will make the registry information look more like a service to your guests.
7. Always keep a record of your gift information: such as the giver, the gift, and the giver's address. Once gift giving becomes prominent, you should sit down as often as possible and write your guests thank you notes. This makes them feel appreciated and you don't get backed up with thank you's in the future. This also makes the whole thanks process a lot less boring if you are just writing 1-3 thank yous a day.
8. Thank yous should be sent ASAP after a gift is received. That whole one-year to write a thank you note rule is also rubbish. Just think of all that goes on in a year. Who wants a thank you note that late?
9. If you (God forbid) call off your wedding or you file for divorce or annulment immediately after the wedding, you are required to give the gifts back. You don't get any presents if there is no couple to give it to.

Some Registering Suggestions

1. If you are just a starting out couple, tradition is to register for household items. Ask for cookware, glasses, silverware, furniture, bath and bedding accessories, anything you know you're going to need for your new home together. Just make sure your fiance has a say in what you are registering for, because no self-respecting man wants a pink comforter in his bedroom. Then again, I may be wrong: I don't judge.
2. You don't have to have traditional gifts for your wedding. If you have enough cookware going into the wedding, you can ask for entertainment items. DVDs, CDs, books are always good gifts, especially if you feel guilty asking for expensive gifts.
3. Have everything you need? How about a honeymoon registry? There are now web sites that are able to allow your guests to go online and pick amenities that you choose for your registry and the registry will then send you a check the week of your wedding and the week after. For example, say you place a night at your honeymoon hotel on your registry. Your guest will see it on your registry, and (hopefully) purchase it for an extra minute cost. There you have it, a honeymoon registry.
4. If you are completely and utterly selfless, or just don't feel like receiving any gifts, but your guests are asking you where you are registered, because they want to give you something to commemorate your union, then ask them to donate to your favorite charity on your behalf. It's a wonderful way to help the world.

Here are a few websites you can look into for registries:

• www.bedbathandbeyond.com
• www.thehoneymoon.com
• www.macys.com
• www.walmart.com
• www.target.com
• www.belk.com

Happy shopping!

Breaking Down the Budget: Who Pays(Traditional and the Not-So-Much)

So, you may now have your wedding in mind. Whether it is going to be the social event of the season or just a little shindig in your backyard, it's always a daunting question about where the money is actually going to come from. Below is the traditional breakdown of wedding costs.

• The Bride's Family Pays for:

-The wedding planner

-All stationery, including invitations, thank you cards, announcements, and postage

-The bride's dress and sometimes the female attendents' dresses as well

-All reception expenses

- Flowers

-The groom's wedding ring

-Wedding photography and/or veideography

-Officiant fee

-Music

-Accomodations for all out of town guests

-Transportation of guests to and from the wedding and reception

• The Groom's Family

-The marriage license

-The bride's wedding ring

-The rehearsel dinner

-Flowers, mainly bouttonieres for the men

-Bachelor dinner

-Honeymoon

So, that's mainly it. Many a times, parents are more than happy to foot the bill, but if you are like me, the idea of my parents blowing all their hard earned money on a weekend of frivolities makes me feel uncomfortable. The above breakdown of expenses is really just old, outdated, and used as a default if you really don't know how to go about breaking them down. But this is more of a guideline than a rule now. Many brides and grooms are paying for their own weddings, or splitting the costs with both sides of the family if the parents are insistant on helping out financially. There is another reason why brides and grooms are not taking anything from their parents and that is if you want something done your way, being financially obligated to indulge your parents because they are paying will stifle your creativity and keep you away from the wedding of your dreams. And I'm not saying that parents who pay hold their kids arms bhind their backs and make them do the wedding their way. But when they make a suggestion you are expected to at least acknowledge it, and that is the polite thing to do. But then the suggestion begins to weigh on your mind more because your parents are paying and the suggestion came from them. So now I have listed the pros and cons of the paying parties:

1. The Traditional Breakdown. The pros are that the parents basically take care of everything and the couple rides off into the sunset not financially broken. The cons are that the parents are going to have more say in everything you choose, from the guest list to the music choices. My advice is to have a sit-down discussion with the parents, and let them know how much you appreciate them footing the bills, but also nicely reminding them that it is your big day, and advice from them will be solicited when needed. It will let your parents know where you stand as an adult and save you from a lot of conflict later. But if your parents have a very hands-on attitude about the wedding, discuss with them the aspects of the wedding that are important to them. That way you all have an understanding of who wants to do what and there won't be arguments over unexpected creative clashes.
2. The Bride and Groom pay. The pros are that you will learn how to budget together, have complete creative license over the affair, and you will really appreciate the event more because you paid for it. The cons are that you may have to, strike that, will have to constantly budget your living expenses with wedding expenses, possibly take out lines of credit to pay for it if you want something more elaborate, and could probably end up with less of a wedding than you were hoping for. My advice for that is to start saving now. Just putting back about $100 from each of your paychecks saves about $400 a month. Over the course of a year that's $4,800! Even cutting some expenses like eating out often or going to see a movie could save around $2,000 a year.
3. Everyone chipping in a little here and there. The pros is that not just one party is stuck with all the bills, everyone gets a say in the planning process or none if they choose. The cons are the more of people paying, the more opinions are going to be thrown into the wedding pot. Just remember to stick to your vision about your wedding day. If a contributor to the wedding comes forward and is very adamant about integrating an aspect of the wedding, discuss it with them and let them be heard. Don't dismiss the idea before you have heard them out.

Also, though tradition states the wedding party expenses are paid for by the bride and groom's families, you may want the attendents to help pay, mainly for their attire and transportation. Let them know way in advance so that they don't feel like they have been jipped as the wedding day approaches. This will give them time to decline the attendent invite if they can't afford the costs.

Mainly, for all aspects of the budgeting and money interests, you need to discuss it with all parties involved. Communication is key.

We Have Set the Date!

Hello, all! So this is more of a celebratory blog as opposed to an informative. Andrew and I went to Kilburnie on Sunday and the owner Johannes Tromp gave us a tour of the house and grounds as well as the ceremony and reception site at his residence at Craig Farm. I am not going to lie. I was 17 when my mom first drove me by Kilburnie, and ever since then I have wanted to be married there. The inn was originally built in downtown Lancaster until Johannes came down from the north. The building was being used as this gigantic rubbish storage place and was scheduled for demolition until Johannes purchased it and, get this, took the whole thing apart like a puzzle, and reassembled it across the street from Craig Farm. He restored to the house to its former glory and is now one of the most romantic sites in all of the South. So, anyways, Andrew ultimately fell in love with the inn like I did and we have September 4, 2010 under contract. I know it seems like a long time off, but for this venue we needed to make a decision fast. Kilburnie is a hot spot for weddings, and some have already been scheduled for 2011! But we are thrilled to basically have our venue booked and a set date. And yes, it's labor day weekend, but I am figuring out some ways to make it a wedding weekend so our guests from out of town will have a lot of fun. And yes, we are sticking to the $10,000 budget. Here's a few pictures of Kilburnie. It's just awesome, seriously.

Here is the link to Kilburnie's story if you really want to see what this place looked like before it was fixed. Just fantastic.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oh2feCQtjDc

Wedding Style Worksheet

Before you even think of how much you want to spend, you and your fiance need to sit down together and decide what kind of wedding you have in mind. This will help you both keep a uniform vision of how your wedding will be, as well as help you recognize what is important when it comes to your marriage and reception(or lack thereof). Just remember the key element to all of your wedding planning: your groom. Unless he has actually said the magic words," Whatever makes you happy will make me happy, go on and plan the wedding of your dreams without me," then you should include him in every aspect of the planning process. Someone told me how you two plan the wedding together and how you handle your wedding budget together will give you a glimpse into your married life. So, grab your partner and get to some planning!

• Describe your event(write down all that apply)

Intimate, Grand, Formal, Casual, Relaxed, Festive, Elegant, Traditional, Untraditional, Ethnic, Religious, Themed, Over the Top

• Locale(write down one or multiples if you are planning on celebrating in different places)

Where you live, Away from Home, Bride's Hometown, Groom's Hometown

• Size(choose the number of guests you think you would want at your wedding. The bigger, the more expensive and less intimate the affair becomes)

Intimate (<100),>

• Season(pick the season you would like to have your wedding. Think about the comfort of your guests)

Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter

• Hour(the earlier in the day you have your wedding and reception, the cheaper, more tips on how to determine the formality of the wedding based on time later)

Sunrise, Midday, Sunset, Evening, Late Night

• Date Choices(pretty self explanatory. Think of THE DAY you want to be married. Then write down alternative dates that you want to be married just in case the date is already taken at the venue you want, or something comes up)

• Choices of a Time for the Ceremony and the Reception(the reception does not have to follow immediatly after the ceremony, especially if it going to be held at another venue and you just want some time with your new spouse before the big party)

• Color Palette(what kind of colors do you see your wedding party in, your table linens, invitations, etc.)

Spring Pastels, Black & White, Citrus Hues, All White, Winter Palette, Metallic

• Festivities (what little parties do you want to have, if any at all, to celebrate your union, more on who hosts these later)

Engagement Party, Shower, Bachelorette Party, Bachelor Party, Couple Shower, Rehearsel Dinner, Wedding-Eve Party, Post-Reception Party, Morning After Brunch

• List Your Priorities from 1 to 10

Time of year/Day of Week, Officiant or Ceremony Location, Guest List, Food and Drink, Music, Reception Location, Attire, Ambiance, Mementos, How Wedding Will Be Carried Out

• Opinions that Count (Grip this one with all your might, especially when everybody feels like they have to give you advice on how they would do it. This is your day, do it your way.Check all that apply)

Bride & Groom, Friends & Attendents, Bride's Parents, Groom's Parents, Wedding Coordinator, Anybody Else

• Special Interests or Highlights in Your Relationship Story that Can Inspire Wedding Details

Remember, you don't have to rush through this in one night. Even revisiting this list and recognizing that your wedding style may evolve over the course of the planning journey is very important. If you feel like what you originally had in mind isn't working out for either of you anymore, then throw it out. You know my mantra: It's your day, do it your way.

Meeting the InLaws

So, one of the first things all new brides should do before they even think about getting married is atleast having one get-together with one of the groom's family members. And while this task may seem a wee bit daunting, the first thing you have to keep in mind is to breathe. It'll be okay. There are probably movie clips from "Meet the Fockers" or "Father of the Bride" running through your head of bad inlaw meetings, but in all truthfulness, your parents love you and just want you to be happy. After breaking the hopefully happy news of the new engagement, they will probably just want to meet each other and get to know each other before the whole circus gets underway. So, if you are a little nervous, have a feeling that you future mother in law may in fact hate you(mine does not), or are terrified that your parents will bring up some skeletons during the meeting, here are some tips to work your way through your first meeting with your new family.

1. I cannot say this enough. Just breathe. If you think the worst is going to happen, it will happen. If you haven't read "The Secret" yet, then you should just know that you create your own reality. So if you think you are going to botch the convo, then by some act of God set your new mother in laws dress on fire, you have just upped the probability of that happening. But if you believe that everything will run smoothly, chances are they will.

2.Food is your friend. If you are going to meet the inlaws, offer to bring along the dessert. If you are hosting the shindig, prepare the food yourself. It will open up conversation and show off your prowess in the kitchen. Just be careful not to overdo it with the cooking. If you don't know how to make mac-n-cheese, then don't try to make a 5-course meal all by your lonesome. You can get frozen food that you can just pop in the oven that is just as impressive or if you have a little extra cash, get in touch with a restaurant for fancy take-out ahead of time. You don't have to lie about it, just make it look good. You can joke about how you could make water burn during dinner. Yay for more convo!

3. Take it easy with the booze. Nothing loosens lips or ruins a meeting faster than free-flowing alcohol. Having a glass at dinner won't kill you, but don't think that alcohol is going to help with settling your nerves. Depending on it could really make things turn ugly really fast.

4. Ask your fiance about their parents and get some facts about them before you visit so you will have some easy conversation starters. And if the parents are meeting each other, find out what your families have in common like, "Mom, did you know that (insert fiance's name here) mom loves the opera?" That can guarantee you a little talk time.

5. Be polite. Don't curse, be friendly, just basically be on your best behavior until you really get to know how they react to certain things. You will have plenty of time to show your new family the less desirable side of yourself, but first impressions are important.

6. I see this one a lot on tips. Show interest. Your future inlaws may be boring as all get-out, but just like meeting new friends, you need to take some interest in what they're saying. Think of it this way, you may think they're boring, but they may think the same about you. And if they are still at least pretending to listen, then you can do the same. Talk to them, laugh at their jokes, offer your own stories after they have told their own. You know what that's called? Conversation! I'm excited that I have found a theme without trying. I'm a mess, I know.

7. Just be yourself. I know this seems a little hypocritical with all these tips on being on best your behavior, but really, you are just showing them the best side of yourself. Your fiance loves you, and that's all that matters. Getting in with his family is going to be a piece of cake.

Wedding Traditions and Their Crazy Origins

This is my favorite blog thus-far, because out of all traditions, wedding traditions are always going to be there. And most people follow them without regard to what they mean. Here are a few of my favorite wedding traditions and how they began:

• The Bride

The origin of the word bride means "cook." Bride can also refer to the bride as "the horse" in the conversion of ownership from one man to another, hence the giving away right of the father of the bride(explained later).

• The Groom

The origin of the word groom means "boy or youth." It also refers to the caretakers of their master's stables and...HORSES!!! Hello! Women have been referred to as horses and the men as their keepers for years and no one has done a thing about it!

• The Best Man

Back in the day (which was indeed a Wednesday, BTW) men would go into a village not of his own and steal away his bride from her more than reluctant parents. If things got a little crazy, he brought along his best man to be his second. The best man was really the "best" swordsman and fighter the groom knew so he would go along with the groom to give him a little more than the simple moral support required by BMs today. The best man was also expected to guard the door of the newlyweds home in case her family came to get her back or the bride would make a run for it.

• The Bridesmaids

These days, it's an honor to be asked to be a bridesmaid. In weddings where the bride was alright with the marriage, or atleast not being stolen from her family, she instructed her bridesmaids to wear dresses that were similar to hers. This was so that the bridesmaids could act as decoys to the evil spirits or former lovers of the bride and the bridesmaids would surround the bride so that one of them would be stolen away and not the bride herself. Kind of takes the ring out of being one, doesn't it?

• The Rings

The ring finger is still referred to as such because the Romans believed that the "vein of love" to the heart ran through the fourth finger on the left hand, and the wedding rings have remained on those fingers pretty much since the institution of marriage began. The ring represented eternity and the metal of the ring represented the husband's wealth in later years. Before wedding rings were thought up, life expectancies were relatively low and husbands would place rings made of leaves and bendable branches on their wives' wrists and ankles to keep their souls from "leaking out" and leaving them before their time to go. Talk about romantic. Wedding rings were basically for the women until the 20th century when men started wearing them, too, as a sign of mutual ownership and "off the market"-ness.

• Wedding Announcements

Those little invitations will give you some kind of grief, but wedding announcements actually didn't start out as giving the guests time to mark their calendars and RSVP. It was to give them ample time to object to the marriage.

• Giving Away of the Bride

Still a tradition today, it's a father's honor to give his baby girl away. But the tradition actually began as the father giving his daughter away for peace or profit. When it was for peace, the warring families of the bride and groom would need to be present for the wedding; but since they hated each other, they would have to be seated on opposite sides of the church, hence the bride's side and groom's side. Talk about meeting the in-laws!

• The Veil

Now a symbol of virginity and virtue, the veil was actually placed over the bride's face to keep the groom from seeing her before the ceremony so he wouldn't back out of the agreement if she was a "dog." The veil was removed from the bride's face only after the vows had been exchanged. Haha sucker!

• The Wedding Dress

It's so customary now to be "all dressed in white," and it's hard to believe that bride's were married in nothing but white. However, the wedding dress was simply whatever the bride had in her wardrobe that looked the best. It wasn't until after the marriage of Queen Victoria in the 19th century that white dresses became the eptiome of bridal fashion.

• Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something Blue, and Six-Pence in My Shoe

"Something Old" refers to the connection the bride has to her family, mainly her mother or mother-figure in her life. Requires the bride to wear something from her family.

"Something New" represented the transition to her new life, usually something from her new family.

"Something Borrowed" would usually be borrowed from a married couple so that their good luck would follow the new married couple into their marriage.

"Something Blue" was the Jewish custom of the bride's dress border being blue to represent her purity.

"Sixpence in My Shoe" represented the penny that would go in the shoe to wish financial happiness in the marriage.

• The Tossing of the Garter and Bouquet

Back in the day, right after the wedding ceremony, the bride and groom would steal away to a room to consummate their marriage before the reception. Most family members would want proof, so they would (deep breath) stand around the marriage bed and make sure the couple was indeed doing their business right. On the way to the chamber, guests would tear at the bride's dress for good luck. Well, of course, this can really get to some people over time. So the bride would toss her bouquet so the guests so they could get their good luck, and the groom would toss out the garter from the chamber to show the guests that he was indeed about to get down to some consummating and the guests would stop being creepers and watching them do the dirty.

• The Freezing of the Wedding Cake

Usually right after the marriage, the bride was expected to get pregnant. So, instead of going through all that trouble of making another cake, the bride and groom would simply freeze the cake for the arrival of their baby, which usually came a year after their marriage.

Those are my favorites. If you have any more, please post them! I love these!

Bridal Etiquette Lesson #1: Getting Engaged and Telling People

So the ring is on your finger, your special someone has asked you to be with them forever and you have said "yes." Before you do any calling or telling, just, first of all, take a moment for you and your new fiance to take it all in. Getting engaged is a big step; sometimes a big scary step. So before you do anything else, hold them for as long as you can, kiss them, tell them how much you love them before you grab your phone and call everyone you ever knew. I swear there will be plenty of time to tell everyone and recount the story of the magical moment. But just take that moment. This isn't an etiquette thing as much as just relishing the moment that you probably thought about since you were little. So when you finally do pick up your phone to call, be prepared to tell the same story over and over and over annnnd over again. Yes, it may get old really fast, but this is the first time everyone else gets to hear it, so you have to sound excited or atleast sound like you're still glowing when you're recounting the event. People realy do want to hear about it. Getting engaged has been hyped up so much these days that sometimes the engagements are equally just as big as the weddings themselves. Speaking of which, like most things in our lives, what we always dreamed it to be will probably be better than what really happens. You may feel numb after the proposal, wondering if it's going to hit you that you are indeed engaged and also worried about why you are not more excited than those crazy screaming girls you seen in the movies or on the street. Just so you know, there is nothing wrong with you. Again, it may just take a second to adjust to the whole transition. This little period could take weeks, sometimes months. I still have a hard time calling Andrew my fiance. That being said, here is some "etiquette" traditional and new-age that will help you with getting engaged and breaking the news.

• Getting Engaged

Tradition states that the guy would have to go to the girl's parents to first ask their permission before even buying her a ring, waiting for the perfect moment, get down on one knee, and asking her to marry him. That's how my engagement worked, mostly because my parents required it to be that way. But, come on, women have grown to be self-sufficient bread-winners in the relationship, as well. Why let the boys have all the fun? You're allowed to pop the question, too. And if you've been together some time, even just talking about it and mutually agreeing to get married through a discussion is an acceptable way of "popping the question." Whatever floats your boat is basically the theme here. However, at least letting your parents know of this person's existance and theirs of yours is recommendable so as to not give your parents the shock of their lives (unless you like that sort of thing, I don't judge).

• The Engagement Ring

In tradition, the boy buys the girl a ring and when she breaks the news, women of all ages will usually grab at the left hand, demanding to see the rock. In tradition, also, the woman picks out the ring, the guy buys it and presents it to her upon engagement. Now though, you don't need a ring to be engaged. And it doesn't have to be a diamond, either. If there isn't a ring and someone seems to disapprove or call your guy a cheapskate, you will be able to do a number of things: retort with "He just couldn't find a ring worthy of me" or something along those lines and if someone does call your guy a cheapskate, then that is one person off your guest list right there. When talking about engagement, ask your guy first if he wants to pick out the ring if you do drop the hint of wanting one. Tradition states that it must be worth two months of what he makes, but I think that's crap. Giving up two month's salary for something so insignificant in the grand scheme of things is so impractical. There are better things to do with that money. But, back to the picking out an engagement ring, just mention to him what you would want in a ring, and then, if he wants to design the ring, let him. It may be a little daunting for you letting your guy do this, but having him create something special for you will just add to it when it is on your finger. Give the guy a chance to really do something awesome; you would be surprised with what he can do. And for the other way around, why not buy your guy an engagement ring, too? It doesn't have to be anything uber-expensive, but it would be a nice gesture and a symbol of your commitment to eachother if you do decide to get rings.

• Meeting the Parents

Tradition states that immediatly after the engagement, the groom's parents call on the bride's family to have a meeting of the families. Then, at other times, the bride's family is the one to make the general introduction. But if you are like many newly-engaged couples, there is a lot to deal with when thinking about the parents getting together. There may be little snags in that general rule like divorced parents, long distances between the two, time conflicts, etc. These days, the couple can plan the meeting of the inlaws since they can act as liaisons between the families and figure out a time, any time really, for the families to meet. It doesn't have to be a big dinner and it doesn't have to be immediatly following the engagement. And the parents don't even have to be best friends. The meeting of the families is basically a little get-together to meet your new future family members and can be planned anytime before the wedding, including the days before the big day if there is a ton of distance to be covered between the families.

• Engagement Announcements

You see them in the Sunday papers: the engagement annoucements of the newly engaged couples who will be making their way down the aisle in a year or so. They look so blissfully happy. If you have always wanted your picture with "the one" in that Sunday paper, tradition states that you should post it tops a year before the nuptials. If you don't feel like letting everyone you ever loved and hated know, then engagement announcements in the paper are indeed not necessary.

Andrew Got a Job and Ten Money-Saving Dates for Penny-less Lovers

Thank the Lord. Our prayers have been answered! Andrew has received a job at Steak and Shake and while some of you big-wigs may scoff at the idea of flipping/serving burgers, I beg to differ. It's been a hard road for us; these past few months of uncertainty have been hard on our relationship and on us as individuals. Yeah, there have been fights, there have been tears, but when it came to the end of the day, I knew what was important. The trial of the joblessness was unbearable, heart-wrenching, but honestly necessary. It's one of those things that now I am grateful we got the chance to go through early on. We now know how to handle a situation if one of us does lose our job. We also know how to deal with high-stress and how we work with eachother during high-stress. What I learned mainly is that you cannot blame your partner for not getting a job if they are out there truly working hard. At the end of the day, after they have come home from handing out applications, meeting managers, and having interviews, they are exhausted. And not only are they exhausted, but they are even more terrified than you about the future without a job, because they are not just "failing" themselves when the phone doesn't ring: they feel like they are failing you. And I will admit it, I berated Andrew for the first couple of days until he told me how he felt and how scared he truly was and how he was really trying because he didn't want to let me down. It's a hard economy out there, money is going to be tight. But we all have to keep in mind what is truly important at the end of the day, and that is letting your loved ones know there are loved. When money is tight, however, here are some ideas for the Pennyless Lovers:
1. Most movies out there now are based off books, that, in truth, are always going to be better than the movies themselves. For instance, The Notebook, Angels and Demons, Nights in Rodanthe, Marley and Me. They're all good couple books. Even tackling the Harry Potter saga together is a feat that could prove entertaining. Snuggled up on the couch reading a good book with your partner is a great budget-friendly alternative to the over-pirced cineplexes.
2. However, if you do feel that you are going to die without seeing a movie, rent one. There is this great little kiosk at our local Bi-Lo that does movie rentals for $1 for a night! Think of the savings! The average adult movie ticket costs $8.00 in South Carolina. So that's $16 for the two of you. And maybe the average couple goes to the movies like...every 2 weeks maybe? That's $32 a month, times 12 that's: $384 a year. And that is not even factoring in popcorn and beverages. Even if you go with Blockbuster or Netflix, you're still saving a nice heap of money.
3. Window shopping. Yes, during a time of economic downturn it may be a cruel concept to a lot of us, but it really can be fun. Just going out and looking at stuff is a date within itself. I love going to book stores and going to the travel section and romance section. Andrew likes to hover around the manga section. But you can seriously entertain yourself for several hours in a store if you're with the right person. But leave the credit card at home so you don't do any impulse shopping.
4. Going to the park. Make a couple of sandwiches and go chill under the sun. You get to spend some time with your partner and get a tan for free.
5. Read your newspaper to get the skinny on local events. Most of the time they are free and loads of fun. Even the kiddy street fairs are worth going to because then you are able to bond over old childhood memories rushing back.
6. Volunteer if you have the time. Nothing gives you a natural high more than helping out. Working at a soup kitchen together, or taking in a foster pet together brings you close together and helps out the community.
7. Start a couple's journal together. This one is a little harder to commit to than the others because it really does take some time to get into the habit, but just think of how great it is going to be looking at it when you are bajillion years old and remembering writing the book together.
8. Host a game night with your friends. Get him to call his friends, you call yours and just ask everyone to bring a drink or food item and you have a budget-friendly party right there. This is especially good for when you want to hang out with your friends and do something, but none of you are making good money at the moment.
9. Make dinner together. I have no idea why, but "Unchained Melody" by The Righteous Brothers pops into my head whenever I think about cooking with Andrew. It's fun to teach him how to cook and for him to teach me some things, too. We love watching the Food Network every now and then and getting in the kitchen after to make something of our own. We have our I-Pod in the kitchen, too, so when stuff is cooking we'll dance. Dinner and dancing right there without the cover charge.
10.Go parking. I'm serious. Nothing sparks romance quite like a nice drive out to the middle of nowhere with a canister of hot chocolate or wine, whichever you prefer, stargazing and possibly a good old fashioned "necking." You did it when you were a teenager, and having that thrill of sneeking out and getting caught or just getting out of the normal routine of dinner at home just makes your relationship feel new again.